Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I feel like a shit friend and I really don’t know how to deal with my own emotions. Like I like this girl but she likes this guy but I’m just overwhelmed with jealousy. She’s been happy all the time, like I’m happy for her but she just makes me feel complete. But I’ve told her how I feel and it just feels like she doesn’t even notice me anymore. Like we used to hangout all the time but now she’s always with her other friends and when she’s able to hangout our plans get canceled. I just really feel worn out like school is awful, and my life just isn’t complete. Like she was the only friend who noticed the smallest things in my emotional changes now we rarely see eatchother. And u know what’s worse she’s dated almost all her friends and I fell like I’m just a spec of dust compared to the necessities of life. But she’s Bi with a huge preference for guys. I really don’t know what to do like I’ve never felt this way and I just like gave to deal with other people’s drama. Like one of my good friends liked me so I had to deal with that and the girl that liked him was bullying him. It’s just chaotic and I don’t know what to do with these feeling. Like everyone in her familys happy she’s gonna try and get his number and stuff. And it feels like I’ve been shattered into pieces both mentaly and physically. She’s the first person to truly understand me and it feels as if we’re drifting away. I’ve been forcing a smile when I see her but I’m surprised she hasn’t noticed. I know it’s dumb but I really want her to be happy even if I’m not there I’d die for her, but if I did I really don’t think she’d notice.