Thought

@maca23

I feel horrible. My mom and I never have really had a good relationship. We do not talk to each other much and do not have anything in common and we fight a lot. My dad is never home because he goes to work all day. I moved to Africa 3 years ago and I still hate it where I live. I miss all my friends and my only sibling left to college 3 years ago. I have friends at school but I do not really feel close to them. I developed an eating disorder last year and now am recovering. My mom has been pushing me and asking me questions like โ€œwhy do you not want to eat thisโ€ when she knows the answer. She hits me too. I cannot look for my dad to help because he is not here and believes my mom, however he knows thats she is very reactant and gets angry very easily. My birthday is this wednesday (may 6, 2020) and I turn 15. I was going to have a party to celebrate but it got cancelled, which personally I donโ€™t mind. Im just looking for real happiness. I am now going to spend my birthday with my mom and dadโ€™s friends, no sister and by doing school too. My mom and I just fought again because she does not know what I like or want and she says that I am too complicated. I really just want to spend my birthday alone and not celebrate it. I just do not want to spend that day with a bunch of strangers and with my mom that makes me cry all the time and calls me ugly names. I often feel like my mom is slowing down my recovery. I just really want to go to boarding school as I am supposed to in 2 years in the US. My mom also is not very eager about it so I am scared im going to waste all of my teenage life here, where I feel like i have no friends, cant go to the mall or anywhere to have fun, cant drive, I cant do anything that regular teenagers do.

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2 replies
@sparkle
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Happy birthday! 15 is such an exciting age. You have so much ahead of you, beautiful memories waiting to be made and tonnes of friends. Iโ€™m turning 25 on May 29th, and as someone 10 years older - trust me, things will get better.

Every teenagerโ€™s relationship with their momโ€™s (especially girls) is rocky. Mothers want the best for us, but more often than not - they donโ€™t know how to put this across. Everytime she upsets you, try and think about why she is speaking this way . Perhaps her way of framing sentences does not have any tact, but that is fine. Parents are human beings too, they are not perfect. We must try our best to be understanding towards them and forgive their shortcomings.

I think the fact that youโ€™re having so many people come to celebrate your special day with you is in fact quite special. They are all going to be there because they care about you, and want you to have a good time on your birthday!

Have you tried joining any recreational activities like sports, debating or dance? It is a great way you can meet more people and have a good time doing the activity.

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Anonymous
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It is May 6 today!!! Wishing you a very Happy Birthday from India ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

@sparkle has written it so wonderfully, and I agree with all that theyโ€™ve said. Iโ€™m 22, and as a daughter, I can testify that mother-daughter relationships do get tricky like that, even to this day. I live with my parents, and if you live with anybody all the time, the fights and friction is bound to take place because you cannot be nice-nice all the time.

However, what I do want to know is if there is a particular reason why your mom hits you? Would you want to talk about that? Because if it is very frequently or high intensity, it isnโ€™t healthy. Even if you have a bit of a difficult relationship with her, you do deserve your freedom and to live life like any other teenager. Is there a barrier? Would like to know more about that, if you feel comfortable talking about it.

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