I feel crappy. Well, Itās not all that bad as Iām quite used to this feeling. But Iām doing quite well physicallyā¦ And Iām kind of being pretentious around everyone. Like I laugh, crack jokes, stay happy? While being around everyone I know and love. But I donāt feel them inside like idk. It feels kind of like dissociating myself? Iām mainly feeling a few things like guilt ( a shit load of them) guilt for eating, for drinking, for breathing, for thinking somethingā¦ Guilt for not being grateful for, I got great friends and family. I know Iām loved and I know I love them too but I just feel so tired from everything, i canāt do the things I like. I canāt eat properly and itās kinda started to show and I really donāt like that this facade is breaking. I talk to my friends and I know I can open upto them but I canāt? I feel like a burden already and making them worry about me is the last thing I want to do. Besides my other friends are going through really tough times and Iām like that therapist friend/ listener friend among the group and I do want to listen and reach out (and Iām doing it) but I donāt know how long will I be able to hold it all in? I feel really exhausted every morning. I think it might be emotional burnout or depressionā¦ But I feel like Iām too tired to even care at this point. But itās not serious seriousā¦ Like i know i will continue to exist but I donāt like this feeling Iām feeling. And I also know this time will pass and things will get better all those things but the feeling is super unpleasant.
Damn. I sound like a damsel in distress. Which I hate againš
It looks like someone just felt my feelings and presented it.
Anywaysā¦I understand what you are going through and the only thing you can do is believe in yourself and trust yourself. I am here to listen to you. Let your feelings out. If you wanna talk about it let me know. Okkay. Take care
Thank you. Iām sorry that you have to go through similar things, it must be hard.
Thanks, I feel a bit better.
The same goes for you tooš
Yes you are doing great, I can tell you this that you are an awesome human being. The feeling of being guilty can be removed by indulging into some kind of work that you are passionate about. So that the empty time to think about guilt will be occupied with that passion. And you will get busy doing that. All right wonderful soul see you then
Thank you so much! Iām trying to focus on drawing and reading, I hope that distracts me for a while.