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I feel clueless about my marriage life. Both of us are good individuals but not sure if we are good as a couple. Ours is an arranged marriage. I finished my PG from one of the elite colleges in India and my husband did his master’s degree from a normal college. My husband’s earnings are almost half of my earnings.

I was scared in the initial days whether these differences will make him feel insecure or not. He is also a person who will feel insecure for such things. He always says that he wanted to study in elite colleges and couldn’t achieve it. But putting all these as secondary things, we felt we were good people and we liked each other for our good nature and character. So, we got married.

After the wedding, a few incidents happened which pricked my husband’s insecurity regarding colleges. In fact those are trivial ones like strangers asking me where we studied and he will start feeling bad for it. I didn’t know how to handle it. Later, we decided to make him study in elite colleges as per his wish. So, I started to put tremendous efforts in teaching him and making him clear entrance exams. But unfortunately, he couldn’t do so. In this mean process, his job role got shifted and he is not liking that as well.

I really feel bad now as he is relating every single incident to his insecurity. He is not able to clear exams as well and make his dream come true. For all this, I’m struck. I had a lot of hardships in my early life and got married in the thought that my life is going to be happy here after. But everything is upside down now.

My husband is a good person but his insecurity and inability to take things in a lighter manner makes me feel numb. I don’t even know how to react nowadays. I’m not even liking this life but I don’t have any other options as well.

If I had married someone smarter than me, I wouldn’t have faced this difficulty. His insecurity is not making us live happily. I don’t know what to do🥹🥹

I hope someone is listening and will send some positive words.

I just feel numb and don’t know how to make my life better

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra
3 replies

Completely listened to everything.
Just try to show him examples of people who didn’t go to elite colleges but made it big in life. And regarding the job, he can always find a new one, a better workplace perhaps where he likes.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra

anuj @anujvohra

Yes I can understand. Sometimes, people get fixated by the designation. My friend also has a similar situation. She approaches om right spirit and do the conversation as we always…stranger asking about college, is okay…change the topic…live blissfully…it might the only life we have…good luck


First of all calm down and just talk to him up-front that what he wants to do coz at the end the relationship is in your both hands so just talk it out loud & clear and if need any kind of help then do connect.


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