I feel anxious and sad. I travelled to a city to meet a guy I had a crush on. We went on a date and spent a lot of time together talking. But it’s been a few days and he hasn’t called or texted. It has made me question myself. I thought I had built a life for myself that a rejection can’t bother me. But it seems like it does. I have this feeling of entangled chain in my chest. I cried a lot last night to release the pain. Somehow I had thought he might be the one and making efforts might change things between us. He is scared of being attached so he is very zen all the time. He never texts me or initiates conversation. He is aware of my feelings towards him.
You can’t make people love you right. Ever since I developed a crush on him, he has been on my mind a lot. But it also brings anxiety. If this is how him being himself makes me feel, it makes sense that we don’t date at all. I need someone who can reassure me and who wants me and puts some efforts. May be it is for the best. I haven’t felt pain like this in a long time. Probably because I have been ruminating about him for months before actually meeting him and it has been years since I felt anything. It hurts. I gave it my everything and there is nothing left for me to do. I can be at peace knowing I tried my best.
Yet another disappointment. It wasn’t meant to be and it will pass. I needed to share this with someone.
Kush @kush_v_07
Yeah u said it right it will also pass
I had the exact same situation where this person I liked initiated contact with me and then just after a couple of days he would text without interest only replying after 1 or 2 days and that too with one or two plain sentences…I felt disappointed and I kept trying to somehow feel connected with him but I could never and I kept hoping…
After a month of these disconnected obligatory texts from him, I asked him if he truly wanted a connection. He replied he didn’t and I knew all along that was the answer I had to hear…but it was very heartbreaking and everything you mentioned you felt from being anxiously waiting for something beautiful to happen never happened and only having to deal with the disappointment… I feel you and it’s been a week after this happened… and yes it still hurts and I dont know why this even had to happen… but I’m trying to stay positive
Our wounds are fresh. I am sorry you had to go through it. Nobody deserves that. People are confusing. I am going back to therapy. If it is approachable to you, go for it. We need to understand we deserve better. Although I don’t know what to do. No response is also a response.
I am thinking if I should ask him again before I leave the city in a few weeks. To get closure like you did and hear it from his own words. I am okay with rejection. It is the uncertainty that kills me. Wanting to love someone is pure intentions and it should not feel this difficult. What do you think?
I am a decent human being. I don’t know why and how I always manage to end up in half ass situations.
Hey
Hey
Want to talk?
Yes from what I read that you like reassurance in a connection or a relationship I’m the same …so a connection that makes you feel so anxious and uncertain and waiting it out is not going to help us… like you I was also prepared for the rejection and I felt directly asking him what he needed or felt gave some sorta control over the situation.
I hope you find your closure too 🫂
And to be honest it was the hopes that I built up in my head that caused me so much hurt… since I also daydreamed about him even before I talked to him… but when we started talking I actually didn’t feel the connection but just because I had made up these dreams I kept hoping and wanted it to work out…
But I realised that when someone truly wants to have us in their lives they will show it and you will not have to question it
If we want a relationship where we want our partners to reassure us then we shouldn’t try to find that kind of dynamic with someone who clearly made no efforts to show them
It’s like hearing myself. Thank you for saying that. You’re right. I also didn’t bond with him as much. It was just the potential that made me obsess on it so much.
Yes I feel our personalities might be similar 😅😌
To me what hurts me is that he didn’t even try to get to know me when I tried to… I gave him the benefit of doubt thinking he’s just busy and he will get back
I didn’t start having any feelings for him bcz obviously I never really got to know him on a personal level
But I’m disappointed bcz I hoped it could turn into something. I know relationships are hard work and I wanted to put in the effort but sometimes some thing’s are not meant to be.
You’re right. He did not even try. It was my own thoughts that hurt me. Well… Lesson learnt. Thank you so much for validating my feelings. I feel a bit better.
Thank you for sharing this today… It gave me a chance to relook at my own situation and see it in a more positive perspective. I had been thinking a lot over why the whole situation even happened and I felt it was an unnecessary pain. But sharing this with you made me feel my pain had a purpose that I could relate with yours and not feel so lonely and help each other out. Thank you 💚
You’re such a kind soul. I wish you the best. 💙
All the very best to you too. :)
I am feeling sad too, I want someone to listen to me. Anyways are you ok?
Go ahead. This is a safe space 💙
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