I don’t what to write here, I feel like completely broke.
Really have no words to express my depression.
I really don’t appreciate what I do and I really don’t love myself.
Even Spotify not helping me to get a “Sad Playlist”.
Did I broke because of:
Love-> Never had one
Studies->Which I Never worried about
Career -> Which I have no idea on what to do
Family -> Whom I never cared about
I think I hate myself because of myself!
Okay, what I have done today!
1) Woke up at 7am and did nothing.
2) Started Scrolling instagram just for getting triggered to…
3) And started playing PUBG for 2 more hours.
4) Had breakfast at 11
5) And again Started to play…and watched p**n for 20mins.
6) And again Started to scroll insta for some cute Chicks.
7) And had my lunch at 2
8) As already said again Started to play for 2hrs
9) At 9pm saw some mails of the workshops which I registered but forgot to attend.
10) And then washed all the dishes
11) And had dinner at 10pm
12) I was about to go to bed but somewhere myself shouting one me for being soo irresponsible.
13) Then I open my mail and found 3467 mails were unread and many of them were workshops, online trainings, Hackthons and many more.
14) I don’t know why I am like this and I don’t even have any background to support in my future.
15) At the moment I felt like lost and insecure and thought to die but really not brave enough…
16) Even I see my mother and sister really working soo hard but I got no respect over them.
17) All these made me to browse " I feel am useless"
Really, Now I feel like :
I have no idea about “TIME”
I have no “GOAL” to achieve.
I have no “Passion” to go with
I found no “Talent” to work with
I got no “Physical Strength” to work harder
I got no “Money” to be brave about future
Trying some motivational videos from youtube but they stopped working for me, just like a medicine which stops working if you intake everyday.
Don’t know who can help me with this?
Hi dear
YOU CAN ONLY HELP YOURSELF WITH THIS…
YOU CAN DO IT
YOU WILL DO IT…
See,
Not everyone has goals…
See,
You are overthinking
Pls stop being so HARSH with urself…
Yes it is ok to feel disappointed with self
But then you must try to improve urself…
Try to change…
Change what you DONOT like about urself …
U are not USELESS
Infact noone is useless…
Some leisure time is required by all…
It is ok to take breaks
To plays games to stay relaxed
But not at cost of ignoring studies or work…
See,
U start it slowly slowly
Start taking baby steps
Plan ur day one day in advance…
Plan out some purposeful or responsible activities for self
Start with one activity per day
Take up any responsibility
Simple ones to begin with
For ex
Clean ur own cupboard one day…
Go to purchase grocery
Sort out ur mails…
If insta or anyother social media triggers you
Take a break of few days
Just deactivate ur social media accounts for few days…
Sm is not lifeline
Life existed prior to sm…
Physical strength comes from mental n emotional strength
Make up ur mind
That you want to come out of this rut
N you will come out too…
You too have several talents
It is just that you have never tried to figure out about it…
Just try finding ur strengths
U have many of them
See dear you will have to TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE
TAKE CONTROL
BUT NOT PRESSURE…
YOU HAVE LOT OF TIME
YOU ARE STILL VERY YOUNG…
JUST DO THINGS ONE BY ONE …
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
STAY AS STRONG AS YOU ARE…
