Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I don’t wanna sound stupid but still the thing is like I am not able to move on from someone whom I haven’t even dated. I am 18 year old and I had a crush on a boy at 15. We were good friends, debate partners but nothing more. First, I used to hate him but when we started working together in debate we became really good friends. I don’t know if I am sapio sexual or it is just him. Because I found him extremely attractive when I knew about his skills and he was really intelligent student. He was tall, had crooked teeths and a great smile. His behaviour was really good towards me. I was kinda introvert still I am. And he was my opposite. He was super friendly with everyone and I was not an exception. Sometimes he was so friendly with every gender that it can make me insecure. But still I had nothing for him emotionally until I caught him staring at me for a longest period. First I was like what he is doing? I was kinda shy. Then one of my friend also noticed that and asked him what was he looking at? He was like, no no nothing. Then he was always asking me questions, wanted to know me better. We had many interactions. People keep talking about us in back like something is cooking between us. Some girls were teasing me about him I was always denying because there was actually nothing significant. He was really good with me, giving me attention, sending me request on social media but not any other girls but he also never mentioned anything romantically. He was super helpful and I somehow got attracted to him but didn’t say anything to him cause I didn’t want to break our friendship and I had a fear that what if he rejects? He even knew my parents so I was kinda scared at that age. I started enjoying those teases which everyone used to make. I wanted him to feel the same but unfortunately he never said anything. I was always like I am so young. What if it is just those teenage crush? I never wanted to rush. I was also confused. I thought that this crush thing will fade away in future but why the hell it never did? We got separated in college. Now we don’t even talk. Last two years, we talked in social media. He was the one to always knock me first in message. In quarantine days, we talked privately in discord, played games. Of course, he invited. I had zero interest in his game but still I joined with him I don’t know why. The moment he asked me, I was ready in a second. But now he is kinda changed after school. I really fall for his behaviour but now he acts so busy. Got so many girlfriends and one so called best friend and his new friends teases them as a couple. They hang out a lot. I am like okay. Maybe I was just a friend for him. I just see his pictures. I thought of moving on but I can’t. He doesn’t even ask about me. Last time, I was asking him about going to a science fest and he was like, no I am so busy. But he literally had gone to some college fest 2 days ago with his new friends. It made me feel so ignored that I stopped talking to him. Also, he shifted his house so we are literally in no touch. He seems really busy so I also stopped disturbing him as he seems disturbed with my message which I can tell from past conversations. I am just putting everything shortly. I am also busy with my college. So in pressure, I almost forgot him but whenever I get free time, he appears in my thought again. It has been fricking 3/4 years of our meeting still I can’t forget him. So there is another guy who likes me. Giving me so many hints. He is like 5/6 years older than me. But I don’t find him attractive at all. He is an engineer, looks okay but still I don’t like him. Plus, his behaviour is kinda bad. He always finds flaws in everything and teases. Sometimes he gets on my nerves. But he thinks he is funny 😒 ughhh.
The thing is like I can’t move on from my teenage crush yet. I loved his previous nature. Not his current one though. I am still stuck with his past behaviour. But he is kinda changed. But I can’t find anyone better than him. No one impresses me like he does. What to do? I am so sad now a days. I can’t find the old version of him plus not any guy is as good as he was 😔