I don’t understand why I’m alone. It’s can’t be all men … It must be me. I’m 41 and the kids are happily married… What’s next for me . I can’t find my purpose. … Im an exotic dancer and my stage name is Bonita Spanish for beautiful… Everyone all my life have told me I’m so beautiful but yet I’ve always ben alone. I really think it’s bc im not what ppl expect. I’m not a girly girl, I’m not the jealous clingy type. But then guys say i don’t care or they loose interest. I keep everything to myself n i say ok to everything so they cheat. I don’t party or drink. Perfect I’d think but I’m from a party town n a dancer so guys want me to go party and be social it’s that’s not me. Girls don’t like me around their men or just don’t like me for no reason it’s always been like that. My own mom didn’t like me and i asked my oldest brother why. N he she i was my daddy’s baby n he love me so much my mom was jealous. To ppl this might seem that BS but I’m so tired of being alone or being with someone that only like my looks. I can’t tell ppl how i feel bc they make fun of me or think i want attention.and I’ve been fighting against the world all my life I’m so tired. Women can be mean and men just as bad when i don’t want to date them. I just want someone to listen or say it’s ok to be different n not perfect. So i got tattoo on my neck and arms bc i wanted them for me. Now everyone tells me i ruined my beautiful ivory skin. Or that I’m to old to do that. I’m trying to live my life for me n just find a partner to share the rest of it in a quiet cozy home . I’m so sorry everyone i just needed to vent bc i thought I’d explode
It seems like you were always with the wrong mens that now all you do is somehow attract those. I feel like maybe you should explore more things that make you happy. The tattoo is a good start, do more of that. Once you get to a point where you feel happy with yourself, that no one can bring you down and you know your worth, then you go and try to find someone. Naturally you’ll meet him because you won’t be attracted to those that belittle you. I wish you well.