ankit

3am Thoughts

What kind of songs do you like to listen to when you’re feeling angry? 🎧

Music



So actually its like.....I have this one friend with whom I share everything.... I tell her everything and vice versa......and we were really having a good time....and then one day I started talking to an old friend to mine who is like a brother to me and we (me and the guy) came to know that our interests match a lot so we decided to be SOUL SIBLINGS( might sound silly)....now he is like a guy best friend to me....

And as usual I told this to my other friend;the girl; and since then....idk why she feels like I am ignoring her....whatever I say she always replies in a sarcastic manner or taunts me saying ... Go ask that guy...
Yesterday only...I sent her tons of msgs and she did not reply even to one of them...its been around 16-17 hrs since I sent them


What did I do wrong.....is it not right to have a guy best friend ?...... I dont know what to do 🥺🥺🥺

Never be the third person ✌️

Life

Went to go try on prom dresses yesterday and nearly had a mental breakdown in the dressing room. All the x-smalls I tried on still fit me big and everyone had to look at me step out in a giant dress that didn’t fit. Didn’t help that everyone was staring too. All my life I’ve been having trouble graining weight so trying on the dresses made me insecure all over again. I just wanted to buy a dress I felt pretty in and dreamed of. Instead I felt like a little kid and super ugly. 

Body image

I'm currently reading a book called can't hurt me by David Goggins, I've never in my life liked books or considered taking time to read one, but since I reached the age of 18 years old, I've gone through some really huge mental stress, and with this covid pandemic, my mentality decorated, even more, I was sucking at school more than before, I was depressed, and my life was a big ass mess, so while watching a youtube vid I was recommended to try and read this book, so I said why not cause at this point in my life I felt like I had 2 choices, either try and fix my life for good or just give it up, and this thought process is what got me here.
so while I was reading the book, the guy talked about his horrific childhood, he told everything with details, and when I reached a paragraph on page 32 that challenged me to write a list about the excuses I was throwing at myself and problems I had when I was a kid or just problems that I have right now, it also told me to either post online or just accept it privately, but I decided to do it online since it will give some empowerment  since I've never told these to someone because not even to my own family since I already know they'll probably get angry or just laugh it off but here its goes :
* I grew up so supported and comfortable I never pushed myself 
* I was overlooked for opportunities 
* I was exposed to pornography at a very early age which leads to extreme addiction to it 
* I started gaining weight cause of stress, i calm my self with food or masturbation
* I also suffer from other very bad habits 
*my productivity and efficiency deteriorated very quickly this year
* this pandemic also helped my anxiety and depression to grow even more 
*I'm very weak against struggle, I always try to take the least resistant passage 
*my will power is very weak
*I'm not motivated or driven
* I fear people opinion about me and suffer from social anxiety 
* I've never learned to love myself 
you probably you won't tell but to be honest, I felt a slight relief right now, it feels good to release all of this to whoever reading this after all these years 
ill keep you updated on my progress with the book, have a nice day 
#badhand #canthurtme


Mental Health

Anyone learning German over here?


Comment up let's connect!

Success

I am diagnosed with anxiety disorder yesterday. I am feeling so embarrassed , right now I am on regular medication my family start treating me different , special attention to me as I am a patient. 

Mental Illness

hi . iam not very good at expressing my feelings and problems , iam not a introvert but i can't express them  properly, even here iam finding appropriate word for this , which making even worse . just because I can't describe what's happening to me , no one knows how to deal with me and how much iam wounded .  I kind a lost most of the things in my life , i got my family with me , and they are supporting me as much they can but because i lied to them , once they'll know the truth , their belief , their hopes will be shattered . Iam stuck in my life since 8 years . its like iam in a very deep well and i want to get out from here but iam not strong enough to oppose the odds . Its like i know what i should do , what will happen if i do this or that but still . Sometimes it feels like something always pulls me back whenever iam moving forward in the right direction , and it is so strong that i cant oppose this . Iam tired of all this stuffs . I really wanted to be free from here . sorry i think iam complicating things . 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts