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@this_sucks

I don’t need to make a conscious effort to be nice to someone; being nice is in my nature. When I say that I’ve stopped being nice to women, I mean that I’ve stopped making a conscious effort to be nice to them; I’m still a nice person. I’m not being unnecessarily mean or apathetic towards anyone, even though it takes me a huge effort to understand them in the first place. I’m still doing what is expected or requested of me. I’m still offering help to people that may need it. I’m still being polite and respectful. Nothing about me or what I do has changed; the only thing that has changed is the amount of effort I make towards other people. I don’t make any efforts anymore. I’m just gonna be myself.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @jassie77
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @gypsy
13 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @jassie77

Jasspreet @jassie77

Always trying to be too nice, too kind can make you forget the real you. I think its good that you have created boundaries. I had once tried to change myself to be kinder and better too just to be liked by someone. Now i realise how foolish i was and i had lost my self aka my own personality. Being yourself feels great. People like you more like that. Not always trying to make an effort to please someone should be like a self care for ourselves

@this_sucks

It’s the opposite for me. Women hate guys who are nice to them. That means that women basically hate me for being who I am. I don’t blame them; I respect their wishes and know that they have their reasons to dislike nice guys. But I’m not willing to change myself for them.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @jassie77

Jasspreet @jassie77

I think you just met the wrong ppl. Not all girls hate nice guys. we girls do not like a bit boring ones, tho.
Someone who can have a great conversation and can make a girl laugh are the things that a girl looks for in a man. Being kind is a plus point. But selfishness is also a must and kindness should have a limit too.
Well, my point is there is a difference between being kind and being yourself. I think you misunderstood that. Trying to make efforts to being kind must have been stressful. So you should just behave however you want. I don’t think people who have a problem with you really matter when you’re just being yourself.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @gypsy

Gypsy @gypsy

Agreed

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Anonymous

Ohhhh please, yesterday for a whole evening you are making statements that women do not like nice guys and you were calling anyone who says thats not true as a liar, you are a misogynistic, trying to gain sympathy of people by playing the victim when you are not at all a nice guy…i have come to the conclusion after reading all your conversations yesterday, so get over yourself and stop whinging, if you really want to improve, work on your personality first…and please stop with the nice guy posts its is soo annoying…

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Anonymous

Yes i read the whole conversations yesterday, he kept on saying women dont like nice guys and avoid them…their were so many people trying to talk sense to him but clearly he doesn’t want to understand, and today the same thing again…

@this_sucks

I don’t care whether or not you think of me as nice, but I will ask you to stop making unfounded accusations; neither am I looking for any sympathy or attention, nor am I misogynistic. I do understand that you might have disagreed with a lot of the things I said yesterday; I’m sorry for that. I was going through some emotional turmoil. Discovering that nice guys have a bad reputation in the eyes of women unsettled me very much. As a person with APSD, my therapist has been asking me to make conscious efforts to be nice to people for the past 3 years. It has shaped who I am. Again, I’m sorry that you found some of the things I said as disgreeable; unless I know what they are, I’ll never be able to clarify or tell you if I still feel the same way. But I do appreciate your comment, regardless of its intent. I’d appreciate it even more if you had the courage to avoid being Anonymous and reveal your account; i like knowing who I am talking to.

@this_sucks

I’m still convinced that no women likes a guy who is nice to her. That is undeniably the truth. I heard all the arguments of people, and even conceded that there might be some exceptions, when a girl told me herself that she likes nice guys. I had no reason to doubt her honesty, so I gave her the benefit of doubt. Infact, I even agreed that me being nice may not be the only reason why women don’t find me likable. I am still a very ugly person and I do have problems with understanding people and their emotions, some problems with communicating to them.
If you have some trouble with seeing my posts repeatedly, i suggest you block me. It will save you the stress of leaving Anonymous comments like this; you surely must not find it enjoyable to see what you feel is the attention seeking behaviour of another person. He keeps maintaining it isn’t, but you aren’t willing to understand him. That’s alright, but do consider it.

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Anonymous

No thank you i dont want to be in acquaintance with anyone who is sooo into themselves, and you keep certifying yourself as ‘nice guy’, dude people who are around you should say that you are, just you thinking you are a nice guy doesnt make you one, you are full of bitterness that you have been rejected multiple times, as your saying your going to a therapist, work on your personality first, stop trying to gain womens attention for a while, focus on other things, make your life better, if someone really likes your personality they will come and stay, be patient till then…

@this_sucks

Yes, my experiences in the past have not been very pleasant. But I know when I’m saying the truth. I’m not the sort of person who gets swayed by emotions easily. Yesterday was an exception. I was feeling exceptionally vulnerable.

@this_sucks

I don’t think anyone ever will, and I don’t think I ever want to change. But you do have a very good point; I keep calling myself nice. Maybe I should verify it; the people around me are the ones who can truly say that I’m nice. I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for your advice. And as for my life, it’s very enjoyable and purposeful. But i still lack satisfaction because of having no love, care and company. That’s why I think about them. I make sure that my cravings don’t overtake my ability to other things.

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Anonymous

Yes iam blocking you, your posts are so annoying, you dont need a girl friend now with this personality, complete your therapy first…

Profile picture for Now&Me member @jassie77

Jasspreet @jassie77

Stop being so hard on him. He said that he’s trying to improve himself. Everyone should be given a chance . Who the hell are you to label him as misogynist??
You don’t know him. So just chill!

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