i dont know why am here ...my back is hurting and am probably procrastinating,depressed theres no light...thats how it always goes with me still there where i started

i dont knw studies ...its just everything

Everything like what ? May be you taking every thing seriously. Calm down

Hey! Procrastination is common. Do you have any goal of your life? Like everyone have some goals that drives them to complete there tasks. Maybe you can try put pictures or some motivational stuff on the place where you look more often so that it can remind you of your goal and you will complete your daily tasks. Try planning your day wisely. 

Depression

Please God or someone take my life away, I beg you. Give my life to someone that needs it, who will appreciate it. I'm sorry so so sorry for everything I have done. I'm sorry that I couldn't be happier, I tried but it didn't work. I tried so hard but everytime I just went back to the starting point. I keep falling to the point when I can't do anything then just sit in the dark and hope that somebody finds me. I'm surprised how far I come because just few years ago I thought I would never reach this far so I'm proud but this is not living, never was.

Suicidal Ideation

Idk if I'm being too sensitive or I'm tired of being gaslighted 

Hi I'm new I couldn't keep it in I middle of night anymore so I signed up and writing this 
I recently had travelled by bus many times was bit crowded  and I went home but due to this outside tea el after long time , had all kinds of negative thoughts ,feelings and depressed and strange things happening and feeling afraid of everthing  around me and all people(family) then again travelled and moved to my aunt home which is bit better but still little the same feeling going on due to which I'm not able to sleep for minute also or not even able to do anything completely feel down for first time and not even able to talk to anyone home don't know how to over come this. 
Writing this is so very hard , don't know what to do 
Please help 

Anxiety

I feel so done with myself. I feel guilty of I don't know what. It's like I don't deserve anything. 
Recently It was like my two bestfriends started to date. I was happy but slowly it was like they started keeping secrets and all. I felt like left alone. I have been controlling myself for months. But when I was at the last point of tolerance I flipped. I stopped talking to them. I tried a hell lot to sort things out but deep down I was like I can't accept the fact that the only people I thought would never do that, did. I felt so done with them. But at the end all of my anger rage sadness turned into anxiety and panic attacks. I was a hell of an extrovert person but I just turned into someone introvert. I used to be fun now I am just a boring one. I don't trust people anymore. Idk what's happening to me ... I want to die literally like hell is waiting for me to come. Idk what to do......I have became so mean lately. 

Sometimes I just want to vanish in this world. Poof! gone...

SOMETIMES I WANNA SCREAM SOO LOUD THAT PEOPLE GO DEAF

Exhausted

Okay, I don't know why but I feel a strange pain around my chest, breathlessness and sometimes my body turns extremely cold, when I am speaking up against someone and even If I know what I am doing is right... Why do I feel so horrible by doing something that's right for me

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