I don’t know where exactly to start or if this is the right place at all to vent it all out. I am broken and hurt and unable to process things anymore. And to make matters worse I can’t even call it a proper relationship. I’m in love with a guy for the past two years but he claims that we are best friends and nothing more. I haven’t been able to change my feelings for him and he knows that I’ll be ready to fulfill all his needs even before he asks for it. Things were stable the first year but slowly this ‘friendship’ has come down to a one sided beneficial thing. He keeps raising his voice, tries to shut me down with meaningless justifications and expects me to maintain a safe distance from him. His words reflect his arrogance and he seems to be motivated by inputs from other women around him. He belittles me all the time yet does not block me. I asked him repeatedly to shut me out completely but he says he won’t do it and that I need to learn a lesson for breaking trust. I don’t understand where exactly I stand in his life and whether things will ever get better. All this has left me in a terrible state. I break down all the time and I am slowly losing my mental peace. Am I really unworthy of being loved or understood? Where did all this go wrong although I have always gone out of my way to make life comfortable for him? I wish he would stand in my shoes for once. I miss him all the time but I don’t know what to do next. I don’t even know why I wrote all this down.
AnnE @bear__hug
Fact it is.
You are aboe to recognize all the reasons to NOT TO BE WITH THIS PERSON. Just imagine spending your life or even few years or months with this person anymore. If they can’t see your worth, it is definitely not your job to do that. Walk away or else you will keep hurting. This habit of him will eventually fade away. Few days are difficult as hell but trust me, later you will see why were you there in the first place. This is a lesson and you should learn to respect yourself before anything or anyone. Work on yourself. This has already caused you emotional damage. Heal and grow. You got this.
