Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Susmita Dash @speedy_plane...

I don’t know what’s happening to me. This year has been really stressful for me. I was struggling to get a job. I was at a really bad place mentally. There were days I would just cry. Some days I would not be able to get good sleep over several days. I would binge eat to cope up with it. Then 1 month back, I got the most perfect job. It’s like the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was so happy. But still it’s like my mind doesn’t want me to be happy. Like I would have this anxious thought as if things would get bad or something bad is going to happen. Mostly related to my parents. Recently they were about to go to a trip. But I felt so anxious and negative about this whole trip that I literally had to cry and beg them not to go. For 2 to 3 days, I was not able to sleep properly because of these thoughts. Like I would try to distract my mind by watching funny stuff but nothing would work. They cancelled it and I felt guilty but was relieved somehow. But still I am always so paranoid about what if something happens to them. Like my mom would say that she is not feeling well and my mind would race to all the worst possible scenarios. No matter how hard I try, I’m not able to control these thoughts. It’s more like I am afraid that what if this happiness is short lived or what if it will fade away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @thegentleguide
4 replies

Yeah, that does happen. For me, I feel the same way about Meredith. Even though I have no contact with her since back in May, with the last time I spoke with her, I am extremely afraid of something bad happening to her. And now that the winter season is approaching, I feel even more terrified. I have been having strange dreams in which Meredith is the main character and in these dreams she has hurt and I see myself falling down on my knee crying for her. And when I wake up I wake up extremely worried about her. 

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Shiksha J. @shiksha_jain

Hi. I believe what we all lack is the acceptance about death. Death is the ultimate journey of life and instead of feeling anxious about it, just accept the fact that it is bound to happen. I understand that the thought of something happening to our parents is really frightening but we cannot stop it from happening, it will happen to all of us. So why stop living and stay anxious about it?!

Susmita Dash @speedy_plane...

It’s something that I have been facing from past few days. Earlier also sometimes I would get these kind of thoughts but I used to distract myself from it. But nowadays I am not able to control my thoughts or distract myself from it. It’s becoming so strong that I am putting constraints on them to keep them away from harm which is extremely an unhealthy approach to do things. That’s what bothers me the most. I am not able to understand what happened suddenly.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @thegentleguide

Raza Khan @thegentleguide

Emotional control is essential and maybe you’re having an emotional overflow due to a lot happening or it just being a habit developed since a long time. Try not to react much and stay positive.


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