Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

โš•๏ธDepression

๐Ÿง‘Anxiety

๐Ÿ˜ฐStress

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If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.

Xl-zero @xlzero

Iโ€ฆdonโ€™t know what to do.
I managed to graduate from โ€œaโ€ college, i have an official title and all that. But iโ€™m loss and feel lonely.

My sibling is younger than me so she canโ€™t help me, and even though my parents seems to try and help me, i feel like being chained to their views of a proper way to do things.

Do a job, get money, and thatโ€™s it. And i donโ€™t know if iโ€™m wishing for too much or if i should accept reality.
But every time i see them, i see a person thatโ€™s doing a chore, a person that wished the job ended.

They are hard workers, heck, they are the ones that control the business that they are doing. But i feel so hopeless every time i see them, that i should probably just try to find a job and do that โ€œget moneyโ€. At least that would probably make my feelings of being useless go away.

I do have experience doing my job before, doing what i studied to do. Sadly not exactly for what i intended

Iโ€™m at loss of what to do with my life, i feel stressed doing my job. Iโ€™m a graphic designer. But my job entails purely on selling things to people, publicity, social networking, managing twitter, Facebook. Thatโ€™s a goddamn constant job of every day posting something new, or creating something creative for even things that i donโ€™t really care or like. And while a do prefer web design, i find it hard to find people willing to pay for it and if they pay i have to sell me REALLY short, like to a point that i would probably make more begging for money in the streets and sometimes thanks to my parents, free. Like i were a tool.

Iโ€™m turning 26 years old this year, i feel that i should have already been trying to get a house or something, or making money like idiot, or at the very least feel like a pro at the job i do. But i feel like a complete newbie, that while the experience i have helps, iโ€™m still average.

Trigger Warning
I always wanted to create a video game, like the ones that i used to play that helped get over my suicide tendencies in high school (thatโ€™s another can of worms that i already got over, but itโ€™s unpleasant to remember), I donโ€™t know where i got the phrase โ€œNever give upโ€, but that got ingrained in me.

But i have 0 idea how to begin, and even if it would work, how can i get the people attention?, my ideas will ever be interested to others?. Where i can find people willing to work with me? I donโ€™t have money to pay them, and i donโ€™t think i got 10 years to make this alone. Neither my parents will have the patience for that.

Sigh Thanks for reading this, even if you canโ€™t help me. Or if i should just piss off or something and just work since i have that opportunity unlike others.

๐Ÿœ
3 replies

Avni @avni

โ€ข

Hi, I think what you just described is an existential type situation that is experienced by many but not a lot of people can verbalise something they dont understand themselves. I am sure this is a dead end situation for you and i am so proud of you for voicing out your opinion because even if you dont understand it, a lot of people will feel this in solidarity. What i think this is, underneath all these scary thoughts about career and life and path etc,is anxiety. And this might seem stupid to hear but anxiety usually,in my opinion has a root cause and not just the immediate problem that you think you are dealing with.I think you need to find a personal balance.Id say try breathing deeply,in and out for about 20-25 times when you have these thoughts. There are other practices available that may be better suited for you, so you can make any decision you may need to make from a better calm mind.

๐Ÿœ
Anonymous
โ€ข

Youโ€™ll figure something out
Just trust yourself

Xl-zero @xlzero

โ€ข

Thanks for reading me.

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