Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what. If I am then I have been overreacting for 6 years…

When I was 25 I met someone at a job I had. I was working on a TV show. I was super excited at the time. I had made a major move in my life and I had started working in a field I once enjoyed (there have been some down moments over the years that gets me doubting my passion for it at times) and I just couldn’t have been happier.

Over time, I had developed a…I guess you could say relationship with someone. I have met and heard some people who would scoff at the idea of love at first sight but, it was kind of like that. We made eye contact and there was a familiar feeling. As I said, I was 25 at the time…and around then I was talking to an old college friend who had just gotten into a relationship himself and one night while talking he stated that the person he had met was his “soulmate”. At that time, I think I heard that saying only once in my life however, when he said it…it was like hearing it for the very first time.
As the days went on,  I would try and avoid places I would either think or know she was at because I felt that it was really obvious to those around us that there was a thing going on (nothing physically ever happened…for a number of reasons) but, even with that being said, most of the time my diversions would fail because it seemed like we were magnets…we would all of a sudden be “put” in situations no matter how hard I would try and keep distance (I don’t know if she was doing the same…worth asking?). I started to do some research and found out that there were also these relationships referred to as “twin flames”…taking a guess here…a step beyond Soulmates?. Besides the familiar feeling, it was like we could communicate without even having to use words. The job I was on lasted for almost two months after the “ah ha!” moment. Over the course of those two months, the attraction was strong. As stated, nothing physical happened. Not that I don’t/didn’t find her attractive physically…it’s just that one of the big reasons why nothing happened between us on a physical note is because of the age difference between us. In all honesty, it felt like I was already behind bars when I first met her. I thought to myself…“how cruel is this that I have this strong attraction towards you and then there is this age gap between us?” (I honestly wanted to get married to her right then and there). But, to actually wind up behind bars for overstepping the line…no. Not saying that she isn’t worth it but…here we are, 6 whole years later and I’ve been had my chance for at least 2 of them. I have my chance now…that gap doesn’t mean anything. I just am too nervous. She went on to connect with co-workers on social media (good ol’ social media!) and I’ve seen her come up in my friends suggestions. I honestly can’t stop thinking about this girl. I have been in a relationship(s) since then and…nothing. They obviously didn’t last. Honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking about her during my last relationship. I don’t believe that was the reason why it ended (although I did think about her). We just couldn’t really relate. We had different ways of doing things. And that’s another thing about her…besides the unspoken connection…we seem to have the same ideals. Something else I picked up on without even having a conversation with her. So, out of all of what I just said (sorry it was dreadfully long lol)…what say you? Is she my soulmate…my twin flame?  Should I finally fess up and say something to her?