Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I don’t know how to feel, I come to this app because I have no one to talk to and it sucks I realize how alone I am sometimes…

My mental health is getting worse by the min, and it’s just so hard sometimes… I have been thinking about taking a break from school… I can’t take it from work because you know adulting… but I am not mentally stable to be doing all these things that leave me with no time for myself… my mental health has been on the floor for a while but it’s gotten to a point were I cry everyday… I haven’t done good in school for like 2 semesters I’m just here because I can’t lose my housing, I don’t want to go back home because they’ll see me as a failure and put all this pressure on me since I’m a first gen so I have to be the perfect kid to support and get my family out of poverty but I just can’t… but evertime I mention this idea to any of my friends they do the same thing as my parents shame me for it, and tell me that I’ll never go back if I do and that I won’t make it in life if I don’t have a degree and it just harsh…
I’m in a position where I feel so trap, I can’t leave school because I lose my housing and I definitely don’t have money to get an apartment and going back home will be even worse… I got a full time job and I’m looking to get a second one but still I just want a break…
I just need a break… it’s hard to de-stress when you don’t find joy on anything you do, I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t even like to do any of my hobbies, I don’t have friends to go out or hell I don’t even have time to go out because im always at work… I’m too poor to just leave my job for a little, so I’m just trapped
I feel so disconnected from everything and so uncomfortable with everything going on in my life, with my body, with my room, I can’t stand being on my room but then I go out and I can’t stand being out, I get high to be out of it and sometimes that doesn’t even work… I am so tired, I try to put everything in the back of my mind but anything just triggers me and I go back to feeling like shit
I’m so tired…
I’m very tired…
It just seems like everything is closing in and I just can’t take it anymore…