Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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I don’t know how I feel one day I’m okay thinking life is great that I can move on but then I get a text from her and I freeze. So we were dating for 2.5 years but prior to this I had another girlfriend and I cheated on her with the my ex. Yes I know it was wrong to cheat but I wasn’t happy. But with my ex it brought me new life it’s like wow I can believe I’m with her and (I’m not an ugly guy) but the chem. Was strong we enjoyed each other’s company and our first day was chipotle, but during that time and now I was struggling with commitment because of all the failed attempts with my our ex’s you can say I’m scared to get close to anyone because I expect them to leave but not with her, we kept talking about us starting a family and I believed it especially because I felt so right at home with her family, we would do everything together then, my issue started to come back I was scared to get close to get but I did I felt it was only right because I trusted her I looked into her eyes and said I loved her and it felt good like I found the person of my dreams, fast forward to now I’m depressed I look at my phone hoping that she’ll text me, yes I messed up I didn’t know how to express my feelings, yes I messed up and I know she deserves better she calls me toxic because I hurt her in the past but I’ve Apologized tried to Move on but every time we fight and we were fighting a lot She brings up that, that I don’t care for her that she can do better then me and she’s right I know I did this to myself but when she randomly text me. And she says she wants to see my good it gives mix signs she also said she went on a date and I didn’t ask her. Why would she tell me that?! She tells me doesn’t want me to know how she feels because I might use take advantage of it, I just want a hug from her a kiss, maybe not even that an I love you, I don’t want to argue with her what she takes everything I saY and thinks I want to fight when I don’t I just want to move on I’m not happy with myself, I cried myself to sleep last night. Is she punishing me for what I did to her when I know I wasn’t a good boyfriend I felt like I lost my way I feel like I’m not special to anyone just a guy that is depressed and thinking there’s a girl I love and my commitment issues and my actions ruined it, I wish I can move forward. I need someone to talk to I can’t go to my family and friends, I just keep thinking of the good times we had and even the bad times too and I begin to cry…

2 replies

Hey, although I can’t understand how you’re feeling or what you’re going through but everything will get better okay:) It’s alright to cry and let your emotions out but be positive!!!


Free yourself. I think that way you’ll be better. Dont live to the mistakes that you’ve done, you’ve done something wrong and you apologized, that a good start. Now, free yourself and learn from what happened. You can do it:) Cheer up!


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