I don't know
Ever since I wanted to change myself and do something good, everything just fade away 😢

3am Thoughts

I am engaged. About to get marry this September. Sexual Intercourse is so unpredictable. I am wondering if it will get worse   After marriage. Is it gonna be more seldom?

Relationships

🫀🫀🫀 

What more is a person than collection of experiences?

👽❤🧠💖👉📄😑🤌💔

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months 2 days ago. He was my first boyfriend, and I think my first love. I let him cheat on me virtually 2 times before this as he promised me he would change, but he didn't so i called it quits for real. He wasn't the perfect partner, but we had fun together and spent a lot of time together. He helped me get through my first year of college. Sometimes we talked about getting married and having kids. It all felt so real, but he isn't the person i though he was. Because he hurt me. Again, and again he made decisions that he knew would hurt me. He tried to tell me he loves me, but I don't believe him anymore. So I put everything he gave me or reminds me of him a bag and i'm building up the courage to throw it away. Because I want to get ride of the hope that maybe we would get together again. He hurt me so badly, and multiple times I don't ever want that again. It's been hard to accept that all the good times we had together are sadly lies. But he's not mine and I don't want to be his. Right now it hurts really bad, and I want to call him and tell him i love him and i know he can change. But i don't know if he will ever change or if we wants to ever change. I even told my parents what happened, and I don't think he could ever show his face around here again. I did this because I know I can't let him hurt me again. I always heard breaks ups are hard, and now I understand. I'm going to miss the comfort and familiarity. I'm going to cry because of the memories we made. I'm going to be frustrated that he lied. But I also know that I'm going to be okay eventually. Letting go is so hard, but i'm trying. 

Breakup

watching my friends have a good time without me 

Friends

You misunderstood everything Meredith. You’ll refuse to listen to me when I attempted to meet with you to talk about everything. But I love you and a good or bad way. I love you forever. ￼￼

One Sided Love

it is so hard to understand myself. everytime i try i just get lost in conversation of myself imagine things that aren't reality. it hurts me. nothing inspires me. i m burden to myself. 💔

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