I don't have the strength anymore I have failed didn't even reach 2 full month's without sh I am going to end it I don't know anymore

Why end it what about the things or people u love?

Suicidal Ideation

How is everyone feeling right now :)

Compassion

Lunches on the last bench we shared were memorable. Passing around chocolates in the class was memorable. These memorable things and people are only memories now. 

Education

2018- met a 12 years older person than me, fell in love with that person.
2020- lost a close friend, Found that my sister's ego is more important than me, then i lost my loved ones who was closest to me.
2021- Lost a bestfriend on my birthday..who was with me for 11 years but then he found his new "bestfriend" , Celebrated my birthday for about 3-4 hours with tears and screams.
2022- Lost my second n only bestfriend(since 9 years) that i had in my life...
I Was there for every single one of them in their worst..
Nd here i am... standing Alone.. Can't even call or msg anyone when m feeling low.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3am Thoughts

I SWEAR, SOMEONE STOLE STARS FROM SKY AND PUT THEM IN YOUR EYES

Motivation

im really behind in school work and projects, I attend an in school (which means basically you don't have tests but you need to do projects and essays) I'm just 8th grade. I don't think that the subjects are hard, but they just take a really long time to do. Im really behind in almost all of them, I have slight anxiety so I have panic attacks at night when I overthink about it. My parents are asian and they care a lot about grades, I don't know why I'm like this, before online school I was a very smart student, one of the best in the school. but in this pandemic, I give up easily, I get tired easily. My dad, he has anger issues, I have anger issues too. So we would argue everyday and he would physically and mentally hurt me. I feel so useless since quarantine, I didn't achieve anythingand i started failing my classes. Even though I'm antisocial and barely meet anyone in quarantine, I gained a lot of weight, about 8kg. I cant help but to eat  everytime I'm stressed or sad. I look ugly, I never cared about it too much, but now it makes me nervous to meet people. Im too antisocial to talk to a therapist. I feel like giving up. I really want to end my life. I wonder whats after death, Im scared but I feel like suicide is the best choice, I cant handle this anymore.

Art is all i ever wanted to do... I wanted to do it my whole life ..through trial and tribulation...abuse and hell ..i still wanted to be an animator....didnt have the money to go to college... Didnt gave the courage to pursue it.....now im 26 and messed up mentally....and didnt even achieve my dream.... There are younger artists..  And even as i still draw i find my self esteem highly lacking....and these younger artists are leagues ahead of me in skill of animation( not necessarily artwise) but in all the technology im so frustrated to learn by myself.
. ..i just feel like i really failed....and it was the only thing i wanted to do.. ..the only thinng that kept hope alive for me....and i failed.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts