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LonelyThought

@jestr

I don’t have many, if any, friends to ask but how does dating work these days? I’m 35 and have been out of the game for along time. I’m not one for casual sex and stuff, more of a romantic. It seems that its almost impossible to date as a single, 30 something guy these days. I don’t drink and so don’t go to bars, I cant say anything or even wave hi to a female with out being accused of being a creep. l tried just going out and seeing if anyone would come my way, no luck there either. I know I’m not the best looker but I don’t think I’m ugly. It just seems that you have to be a 10 so to speak as a male or you have no chance. I have almost had a few dates, but all were called off by either me (because she was looking to get married right away or something like that) or me and her would talk and just a sudden ghosting from her end. Should I just consider my social life over? I’m social awkward, and not the best speaker or reader of body language and I’m afraid to pursue a person even just a little for fear of being labeled a sexual harasser (due to multiple past events of women talking to me privately and when their friend see me and don’t approve, I become a horrible monster of a person in their eyes). I’ve also tried dating apps, all fake profiles or ads for not legal services. I just want to find a down to earth woman, who is loyal and isn’t afraid to nerd out with me sometimes, possible cuddles every now and again lol. Why does this seem so impossible to do?

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @procrastingineer
Profile picture for Now&Me member @nikup
9 replies
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Anonymous

You are not alone my friend, you’ll get the right person you are looking for just wait for them. I would suggest you watch a show called “how I met your mother”, it helped me a lot and I think it’ll help you as well.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @procrastingineer
@procrastingineer

I feel you. I am socially awkward as well so it is really hard for me to deal with people’s business a d roundabouts unless they are interesting. I think you’re interesting.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @nikup
@nikup

Dude i m strong believer in God. If u also have strong faith on Him, then i would like to tell you that until Lord blesses u, no matter what ur dreams and aspirations will never come true. Have faith on Him and keeping doing good and manage your responsibilities. One day everything will change suddenly for you. Watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCpF-3KgVJ4

Hope it helps. Cheers!😀😄

@jestr

Thank for the advice but I’m not the religious type.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @nikup
@nikup

Well then thats what u got to do. All these days u didnt believe in Him so u r in middle of nowhere. Try this out who knows it might work out.

@glitterandgold

Do you have anyone close to you that you can ask to give you honest feedback on how you approach women? I don’t think people get accused of being creepy or too aggressive as much as you describe without some reason. There may be something that you don’t even realize you are doing that you can easily change. In your post, you said you have difficulty reading body language. That can be learned if you want to get better at it. Try youtube or other internet research. My last bit of advice is to get involved in a group with people that are interested in similar things as you or volunteer. That is an easy way to meet new people and you have common ground from the start.

@jestr

I don’t really have any friends, but from what feed back I could get from people at work and such, people say I look like a 6ft tall angry guy and it comes off as intimidating. I’m not angry, but I recent found out I apparently look that way because of a scar between my eyes that makes it look like I’m mad all the time. I use to wear glasses and that covered it up but changed to contacts a few years ago. Got the scar as a kid in school, not much I can do about it if this is true…

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