Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I don’t have anyone to talk to . I live in my house but nobody talks to me . Even my mom has stopped talking to .I don’t have any friend to talk to. I am literally all alone . My mom … she is working woman . I had given my exams and now waiting for admission since 3 months . And since 3 months I have been helping my mom with all the household chores. I am neet repeater . I did not score according to my parents’ expectation this year too . So like since 1.5 years i am listening to all their tanntrums all their scoldings and this time i just talked back to my mom . I did not abuse her or anything she said that you do nothing just sitting at home since 2 years and i told her counselling has not been started what do i do and she kept on saying to me regarding my weight and my marks . I told her i help you in everything .she said “what do you do ? What help do you do” i said about the household chores i do everyday she said no need to do from tomorrow onwards. I felt so bad whatever she said and when i talked back and told her ok i wont do she said a girl like you is shameless . My parents just keep on saying about the money they have invested on the classes i went for . It was never my decision in fact i told them many a times i dont want to go for classes . There too I told I dont want to stay here . But they compelled me and now after the results they just keep on saying we wasted this much of money ,this much of money on you and i feel bad everytime and that day i said i will give back all your money when i start to earn she just started hitting me then and kept on hitting me . Since that day she is not talking to me . I know somewhere i am wrong too to reply her back . But hitting is not a solution . I have a boyfriend to whom i share everything . He too isn’t talking to me . We had a fight where my best friend (with whom too i cant share much)jokingly told me in the chats that “tell your boyfriend that treat my friend well otherwise be ready to get ur bones broken” it was just a funny chat i told him this thinking he too will find this funny but he felt offensive and he told that from now on don’t tell her about our relationship and say that he is just my friend . Always he does this. I told him she is only one to whom i have shared about us and still i havent told her the entire truth that you are my boyfriend and even if i say what’s the problem with it bcoz you keep on telling about me to your friends i just have one still i didn’t say . Then he said i felt offesive how rude is she and then i told him she just said all this jokingly still he wasnt ready to listen to me and said its late (while i was still speaking to him ) and called me rude, told that come after my exams only, told me "if i was on your place and did what you do to me then you would have cried all the time "… i didnt do anything what was my mistake byt i told him sorry and later he said sorry ,i was crying and telling it was not my mistake leave me alone and he left he did not even msg me once and the next day he came and did not ask how r u just asked me did you delete telegram i said no and he said ok i came for asking only this and said bye and he went . I didnt want to msg him bcoz its mostly me who always tries to sort it out but i again sent him msg and we had a fight again and i told him focus on your studies i am going i wont come he did not even stop me once and went and now he didn’t even send a single msg to me . I am literally so so so alone .