I don’t even know how to pen down what I am feeling right now. My feelings have been numbed. Usually, when something bad happens in your life you get upset, cry or rant but I can only feel this void left in my life. As a 20-year-old who has very limited people to open up to in life, I lost the dearest person, the one with whom I fell in love for the first time in my life. Seeing him move on in life breaks my heart and makes me wonder why people have to leave. Why can’t they stay? Why do people, friends, school, and college keeps changing one after the other? Can I get someone or something that will remain constant in my life? One day you are caring about a person so much but the next moment they are gone, and the person who used to be the closest doesn’t even know whether they are alive or not. My collefe is also about to end I’ll be leaving my friends behind, my college and all the memories I made. What am I supposed to do? I know I am not the only one here but I don’t get the point of this constant change in life and why is this so painful. How do I deal with it? On whom do I rely on for some sort of constant and stability in my life? All the people leave eventually
I need answers. Tbh I don’t want to stop caring about you but you won’t let me come anywhere near to you. I guess I have had the biggest lesson of my life till now. I can never forget the promises we made to each other. But they are nothing now. You taught me that I can be loved too but now I feel I don’t even deserve it. I will never be able to fall in love M.
But I wish you the best. I wish someday you talk to me about it. I wish you’d see me more than your ex. But one thing is for sure, I don’t feel I deserve to be loved. You are the only person who accepted me wholeheartedly. I highly doubt anyone would love me this way.
I’ll never forget you M.
