I don’t consider myself having a happy family. We laugh sometimes but that doesn’t long. We shouts at each other. Sometimes they discourage me and say I am no good for them. 

It okay dear...these things happen in most of the families and I think it is normal...find some alone time for yourself and something you love to...and rest everything will slowly change...🤗💖💖

Depression

A reminder to myself - 
These are not my people. Your people would never bring you down and your achievements just to make themselves feel better. They would never lable you as unjust and moody when you are feeling things because half of the time it is because of them. They would never go after your siblings to date, leaving you feeling alone and lonely. They would never lable you as "pricey" or "burden" because they can't handle your success. They would never turn their backs on you when you need help and not give excuses that they don't understand what you're going through. Your people is not your family. It is not your so called 'friends'. Your people are out there who make you feel like you deserve the world and you are just not a sidekick. They are not your people.

3am Thoughts

They are hella toxic still I have to think of them... Argh
Do they even onow I am alive just for them but ofc not coz of them 
They are the reason of my emotional and mental disturbances and still I have to fight the anxiety and depression alone living with them  idk now how to handle this ... I hope someday this race intensify so much one day that I get the courage to leave this house finally and make a step 

Mental Health

I fcking hate my family 

Family

Is it okay when your family kind of forces you to prioritise other members stuff and feeling over your own. Like i know all those things are small things, but still. 

Out of all the people in the world, why does it have to be my family making me feel small ? They belittle every single thing I do . They are fond of insulting me during gatherings . I've grown so sensitive that I get triggered by the smallest comment . No matter what I do for them , they will never appreciate it . I was never recognized for my achievements and  everything feels so pointless . I stopped thinking about future because I don't see one anymore . Will it ever get better ? It's been years and I keep suppressing my anger till date . If only I could throw my opinions about them like they throw their's at me , I think it'd be much better . I resent them so much to the point I want to achieve success only to flaunt it at their faces . I want to laugh like they have laughed at me but I also want to die. 

i dont want to live anymore i dont deserve these family i dont deserve to suffer i dont deserve to get bullied the only reason i was living because of my mom now she is dead i wish i was tough but im not

Suicidal Ideation

if they are toxic for you. stay away from them. even if they are your family. you can still take care of them from a distance without hurting them. good for the both parties. 

My parents told me that the world is better without me. They also said that if I wasn't born in the first place...  Their family will be perfect without me... They say I bring bad luck
I feel so mad and sad at the same time 
Well I don't have any siblings...  Can't have friends cuz I'm homeschooled... Well here I am expressing my feelings here☺
I want a sibling to play with I want a friend I want a happy family 
That's it
Hope I'll go to heaven so I can create my own family
Pray for me 
Thx

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts