I do bad things in my life… not like stealing or murdering or etc
Something like, faking, lying, not keeping ur promises n etc
That makes me a toxic person n i realise that im toxic 4 sure
Then, karma being a bitch to me
Almost all my friends turn their backs againts me… yeah propably deserved that…
And im a bottled up person…
The kind that just ignore shit n chill n dont give a fuck abt the world
Conclusion… after the karma… i became a quiet person
yeah… im kinda loud when im toxic
because of that… i have kinda developed⭐anxiety⭐ n ⭐depression⭐…
Thx to covid n all the lockdowns… i think its getting worse…
before this i never even thought abt suicide but now… that changed
I mean… is that fair?
I want to change… i really do
ALL I WANT IS TO BE APPRECIATED
Just gimme ur thoughts
Before i think all the people in this fucked up world hates me
Hii buddy! Hope this might help you to some degree. You know what? I strongly believe that being your own best friend, loving yourself, listening to yourself, in fact standing for yourself is very crucial. It is really commendable that you have realized that there is some problem, some bad trait which you have developed over time which is pulling people away from you. More than that it makes you hate yourself and now WOW you have figured it out yourself what is the obstacle.
See, understandably, people will drift away in such a situation as you said.
Now we just have to see what the solution is and work upon it. :)
First of all, know this buddy people will not get moved by your ideas but your action and examples which I know you are determined to prove! So first action and then the TRUE results (people will not just say but mean it, in fact, you will know yourself)
No, never everyone will hate you! Go to the park and play with kids, help a stranger and people will love you! Go out and help and you will see that you are being helped. It might sound selfish but let’s call it intellectual selfishness.
Go out, increase your self-esteem in your own eyes, be the greatest person ever born on this planet in your eyes.
Start saying truth gradually, however harsh it may be.
There is no obligation to fulfill promises but do fulfill them if you have committed.
START AVOIDING THINGS WHICH MAY HARM OTHERS BECAUSE FRIEND INDIRECTLY YOU CAN SEE THEY ARE HARMING YOU ONLY.
Please believe me you need to be the one now who takes the corrective measure first and things will start falling in place and not the other way around and I know you can do it! There is so much goodness and empathy needed to realize that you might have harmed others unintentionally, really respect you for that. Now it is time you will improve it and win not others first but yourself. The one you talk with you inside you. AND REMEMBER NEVER LET THIS POISON REACH YOUR HEART BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS GOLD WHEN YOU POURED YOUR HEART OUT.
WISH YOU LUCK!
i don’t hate you, not at all, and the fact that you are concerned about it means you are not likely a toxic person, or at least you don’t mean to be. It’s a small detail but it means a lot, it means you have a good kind soul as you want to change. I’ve been there before, I used to be so bad that I really damaged my family, but I wanted to change. And I still am changing, I’m getting there and I’m getting better. All people deserve second chances, hell, sometimes even thirds and fourths depending on the situation. And with the anxiety and depression? Just look after yourself. It’s scary, but be honest with people about what you’re going through and apologise if you think it’s right. Hope this helps!!