Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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Anonymous

I cut myself. I cut myself whenever I feel like I can’t escape what I am living at the moment. It feels like if I don’t cut, I will think deeper and deeper, which will make me feel even worse. It just feels so nice to forget about everything, and cut my arms, see the blood flow, and forget about any scars it will leave behind. Especially when I don’t have anyone with me to discuss what I should do next. Today, I wanted to talk
to a few boys in my class about the names they call me, and why they should change their mind about what they think I am. They call me something that translates to “stickman” in english. They use this name in order to talk about me in a rude way when I can hear them. When something bad happens, they blame it on this “stickman” character and everyone, including people I called friends for literally my whole life starts to talk about how bad of a person this “stickman” is. But about a week ago, they made it too obvious, and I overheard one of them saying that I was the stickman. I couldn’t believe it, mainly because the person who said that was my crush. And he acts really kind when he is with me. Turns out he was doing that because he thought I was stupid and out of my mind. I am someone who overthinks, it is sometimes beneficial for me, but sometimes it makes my mind a mess. To make sure I asked a few friends, and they confirmed. Turns out the person who gave me the nickname was also, my crush. Today, I really wanted to talk to them and when I tried to, I felt even worse. They acted as if I was born with 10 IQ or something. Even though I already knew it, I wanted them to admit it. When I asked, who is the stickman, everyone responded differently. They couldn’t even predict that I was smart enough to realize that it was me. I felt really humiliated, then I realized that my crush was also in the classroom. I still felt the same when I looked at him in the eyes, I just couldn’t get over it. I reached to my locker, picked up my razor, and went to the restroom. I cut my arms while crying out loud. Turns out my crush’s girlfriend was also there with me, she asked me what happened. I didn’t look behind. When I was finished, she wasn’t there. I felt better, it made it easier for me to forget about what people think about me, how stupid they think I am. I still struggle to see the future and what is going to happen next.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @anoverthinker
Profile picture for Now&Me member @tomiisnothere
7 replies
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Anonymous

Idk how to help you but behen. Don’t hurt yourself 🫂

Please ese mat karo aage se, you don’t know me but mere liye hi sahi mat karo

Mere se baat Krna chaho toh kar skti ho…
Ik vent krte krte batate batate bhi tum thak gayi hogi koi sunta ni ya sunta hai toh help ni karta … Toh kya Krna dukh suna ke …
But i can support you :(

Ye log bas abhi ke liye hain tum menat krke kuch accha kr skti ho aage … Sab accha hoga aage

Please focus on yourself
And main bhi bohot overthink krta hu…
Ik kya feel hota hai…
Mujhe bhi ajeeb naamo se bulate hai …
But they’re not sooth me now…
And I’m more superior than them today.
Trust me future tumhare haath mein hai sab accha ho skta hai

Shayad mene bakwas hi likhi ho but…
Please khayal rakho apna aur apne parents ka socho

~bhai

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anoverthinker

Overthinker @anoverthinker

The first time I’m seeing a guy calling a girl “behen” here.
This platform needs people like you dost. Keep it up.

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Anonymous

Thank you, and you too keep motivating PPL. Keep spreading positivity and good vibe sir/ma’am.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anoverthinker

Overthinker @anoverthinker

It’s okay for what you’ve done so far and it took guts to come out here and tell your story but STOP HURTING YOURSELF. You have your whole life ahead of you and you will end up regretting doing that. Think about your family. What if something happened to you, how will they react?
There are people who care about you, you’re just too focused on the ones that don’t.
I don’t think me saying anything here is gonna change anything for you as you are mostly looking for validation from your circle only.
If you ever want to talk, you can connect with me and message me anytime
I promise I’ll be cool big brother who’ll listen about all your crushes without any judgements but please don’t hurt yourself kiddo.

Aakifah @kifah

I also used to cut myself whenever I was hurt
But I realized that only brings more pain to me
Whenever I see those scars now they remind me of the days I was so hurt and no one noticed I used to cut myself everyday hoping that one day maybe one of my friends will see it and ask about it and talk to me about everything that is hurting me but that day never came
I used to continue with the cutting myself and it got worse
I read somewhere that if we can’t treat ourselves with love and respect how can we expect others to do it and that helped me change my mindset

Aakifah @kifah

I am so sorry that your class mates bully and call you names
It must hurt so much to care about someone so much only to find out that they are humiliating you in front of others
I am so proud of you for letting it all out and I want you to know that I will always be here for you if you want to talk about anything

Profile picture for Now&Me member @tomiisnothere

Bruh_itz_tomii @tomiisnoth...

To tell you, it’s not worth doing that type of shit. You are harming yourself, it will kill you painfully. So stop cutting your self and forgot about everything. Don’t let they get to you, you have will power and you are strong. Who cares if they bully you, ignore them. It’s best to ignore them. Fuck haters, they might hate and judge but you are you and you are strong. If you let people get to you and it hurt you, the just remember there’s people like me that cares and love you the way you are. Who cares about them, only care about yourself. Don’t cut yourself, it hurt my yk, I was a bad boyfriend to my girlfriend and she cut her self. It’s scary to see your love one with scars. So please don’t do that type of thing to your body. Be happy right now, I’m here for you, if you need to share your feeling or talk I’m here for you. Be safe okay

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