Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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AnxietyThought

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Anonymous

I communicated like my therapist told me to instead of holding it inside and now I wish I hadn’t.

A long long time ago in Highschool I had a crush on a boy. We started hanging out and then slept together a few times and saw each other often.

Then months later we got into a fight and stopped seeing one another. This is age 17

Then he told my mutual friend that he had just wanted to sleep with me and I wanted to seriously date him and he was like nah.

I felt embarrassed and not good enough.

Years passed and he started talking to me and seemingly being really sweet and trying very hard. Since Highschool after I grew up I became a very attractive woman. I model for clothing brands and have self esteem issues but I know other people consider me attractive and he has said he thinks I’m super beautiful. He’s 31, I’m 29.

He asked why I didn’t want to go on a date with him and I decided to be honest like the therapist said. I brought up the past and said I was scared it would happen again and that it embarrassed me and made me upset.

That was my main concern. He read it and didn’t respond and it’s been a full day. We usually talk every day.

I guess I ruined it. It’s fine because I would have worried he was still doing that the entire time anyway and I feel like no reply is sort of confirming that for me.

I don’t want to hookup with anyone. I want a real relationship and I have trust issues.
He had broke my trust before so I think it’s valid to say.

I’m a little sad, I feel rejected now and it sucks.
Should I not have brought it up?

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @akabhi
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9 replies
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Anonymous

Also I explained I DID want to go with him but I was concerned he would repeat the same behavior and that it hurt me/ so I made it clear.

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Anonymous

I’m just embarrassed now and feel like I wish I hadn’t.

Number two I feel a little disappointed that I was right and he seems to be intending to do the same stuff as before.

And lastly I wish I had rejected him so he couldn’t do it to me again. He spent months telling me the opposite and it’s aggravating.

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Anonymous

He’s been on though and he “un sent” a message and then turned his active status off from our chat. I’m not gonna hold out any hope I know I was right anyway I’m pretty sure he just wanted to sleep with me and I’m not interested in that. I just feel stupid for even explaining it.

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
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Anonymous

Yeah. I don’t think he changed anyway and that’s why I brought it up I basically said “you acted like we were friends and then took that to a romantic place and then talked shit about me and said I wasn’t good enough to our friend and im scared similar would happen, I can’t handle it right now. I don’t want to sleep with someone I’m not dating and you’d have to care enough to be patient with me and I don’t know that you do.”

Hes got a really shitty track record anyway and I am not sad to lose him I’m more just sad that I feel rejected again and I have some bad issues with rejection and with avoidant anxious attachment as a result of an absent mother. It just sucks to be right.

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
Profile picture for Now&Me member @akabhi

Abhijeet A.K @akabhi

What u did was correct and don’t take any decisions from ur heart and again go back to same situation where you get hurt so decide from mind and even heart or just go with the flow but don’t regret what happens in life just be happy and do things what makes you happy

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Anonymous

Ruined noo you settled in the score lady
Goodjob

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