I can’t keep doing this. I just wanna scream, hit someone, run away or something… anything! I’m tired… taking care of everyone. And i can’t have a sad day or even a sad damn minute bc my little brother or my mom will get upset bc I’m upset. They are so dependant on me… And i want my own life. I’m 19 years old and I’ve spent 2 years just inside this house 24/7 to take care of my sick mom and my little brother. I have gave up my graduation money for bills, I have gave up college the idea of my going into the military… I have gave up everything. I even lost the guy I thought was the love of my life, I have even developed a condition bc of all the stress I’m going through… I’m so tired, and I don’t even get a thank you for it. My older sister won’t help out my uncle steals. And i can’t kick them out bc I can’t take care of my mother AND pay the bills… I have thought about suicide countless times. I am so tired and just need someone. I need help and an answer as to what to do.
As it sounds. its really overwhelming and I understand what you are going through pleasing everyone and leaving yourself somewhere behind in the picture . Get yourself back and spare some time for yourself. There is always a way. Just wait for the right time and be strong. You are really important and there should be no way that you don’t want to live. I hope you can share your feeling here, and don’t feel the same way as you were.
Don’t even dare to think about suicide . Who will take care of your mom if you are gone ? Your mom took care of you for about 18 years so won’t you thank her for that ? I can’t solve your financial problems but maybe I can give you another perception that will help you in your life .I’m not sure if it the answer that you’re waiting to hear but here’s my opinion . Others may have left their parents to have their own life ,they study in college have their own budget have their personalized schedule and plans, and you stayed stuck to take care of your sick mother and your brother . Well what you are seeing is that your life is falling apart because you can’t control it. But did you have a look at what life your mother sacrificed to have you , she gave up her dreams , her plans and every other thing that neither I nor you can even count , and for what ?That was all to raise you and see you growing up . Your mother has no intention to let your life be a waist after she did whatever she could and thought it would benefit you . She is sick and alone who has she to take care of her if it wasn’t you ? Does your little brother hasn’t the right to be raised properly like you ? What did he do wrong to deserve that ?Let’s not talk about your sister and uncle they are immature and deceiving . What you did is the right choice . What if after all the studying you won’t graduate ? What if melitary isn’t your thing ? Remember that everything has a purpose . Maybe you are fated to spend more time with your mother because she will maybe die soon . You should be proud of yourself raising the next generation I hope he learns from you for when you’ll be sick he won’t give up on you . Your life is well arranged you don’t have to worry or stress out yourself a lot do what is logical and good , don’t be selfish . The thanks come after in different forms . While taking care of everything don’t forget to take care of your well been , because if you fall , everything falls apart . Take care.
Okay I truly love my family. I do. The reason it’s so hard to take care of my mother is bc she’s giving up. I stay up almost all night with her, then wake up to be with her. I be by her side all the time. I try all day for her to move or do anything. She’s just too scared. Everyone just says put her in a nursing home. Which I don’t wanna do, I just wanna break for a couple days. And i want my mom to try. Everyone says I have it easy that a job is harder. But honeslty I think this is harder than a job and I have begged my sister and my uncle to stay home and let me work for awhile. I think they just don’t wanna do what I do. Everyday she talks about her dying and depressing things. It’s been over a year of this. I honeslty don’t even care about anything else expect my mom gettin better and my little brother not developing depression.