I can’t go on anymore. I’m so emotionally exhausted.
This year started off okay, but soon progressed to one of the most difficult and painful time I’ve experienced so far.
I lay on the bed wishing to never wake up because of the things that were happening at home.
My mom is emotionally abusive and a narcissist. My sister was going through a tough time in her marriage and I witnessed my brother in law threaten her because another man (he is like a father figure) touched her arm. I had a panic attack when all of this happened and since then I had been feeling so low.
On the other hand, my mother has been making things so hard for me. She puts me down, invalidates my pain and speaks in a way that is so demeaning.
Then, I fell ill on the 27th of March and since then I’ve been unwell. The doctors can’t figure out anything and I’m just resting, waiting for the pain to go away. It’s so overwhelming and hard sometimes to be in this whole zone of uncertainty.
Everyone cared in the beginning, but now I’m mocked by my mother, told to do chores, when even doing the most basic things causes excruciating pain. She hurts me so much even when I’m ill. My heart hurts.
It’s already hard to be battling an illness with no name to it, and when I have to listen to such insensitive words coming from a person who is supposed to be the most caring, it breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I don’t want to be left at the mercy of others. I want to get better. I want to feel okay.
Both my emotional and physical pain is causing me distress.