I can’t get over my breakup. because I can’t believe he could treat me like this after everything i did for him and everything i had to go through. I can’t believe his actions and whatever i get flashbacks about everything that happened, i feel ashamed. ashamed of myself for letting him treat me like that. Apologising for being hurt. Apologising for his mistakes. Letting him invalidate and gaslight my feelings over and over again. always prioritising him and his feelings and wishes over my own. My intensions were always pure and all i ever wanted was for him to be happy. Its been months and it still fucking hurts 

Life

Actually there is less time, and we all gonna be leaving eachothers side , how I wish to be with them for all my life , friendship is the greatest gift , but school friends hit different and now we are gonna split , i just want it 😭 to stop happening, but this is life , i get it  , but it'll be good if my heart can bear it , I'm also wondering about my public exam how iam i gonna take more than 470 , i wonder that if I can even take 400 , iam scared , and why iam i not studying with my full spirit, iam scared scared and scared, 

Books

Is it too much to expect time from your boyfriend? Is it too much to expect that he tell him small details about his day to you, tell you how pretty you look and make you feel important, miss you when you have a busy day, be excited to talk to you? Is it really too much to expect these things??

I've been frustrated all day because the guy I like (A) is going through horrible things but there is nothing I can do to help him. I have liked him for almost a year now and am frustrated by the fact that I cant get him out of my mind! I am frustrated that even when I just live my life he is always somehow around or involved without me trying but I cant do anything to care for him. I am also very frustrated by the fact that he is stuck in a horrible situation with a controlling family and cousin even though he is in college. I am frustrated because he is so cute and my gut says he likes me but it seems he will never be mine. I am frustrated because I cannot comfort him or help him in any way without worrying that it would be creepy. All I want to do is let him know that someone cares about him. That he has someone and somewhere on his corner that he can escape to and hide from his toxic family life. I am frustrated because his best friend (who is a girl who isn't dating him but someone else) is treating me weirdly now that she knows I like him. Since we are the only two girl RAs at my college I needed her support because she wanted to hang out with A but I was nervous because I hadn't seen him all summer and it was my first time seeing him this semester. I'm frustrated because she gets to hang out with him in his limited time and mom him but I don't.... I'm frustrated because I care but there is nothing I can do about it! Any advice pls tell.... any hope pls help...

Crush

I am so tired, but not at all sleepy. Wth

3am Thoughts

Will be having “the talk” with him tonight. Hope everything will be okay. I hope God can give the the strength to accept whatever the outcome is. Wish me luck! Also, everyone, have a great day today! 

Boyfriend

If you were to meet your younger self right now… do you think they’ll be proud of you? 

Life is like sand which is some time smooth some time rough.... Both are necessary to make some thing better.... And precious also it's gives many chances to improve self... And every chances change into a beautiful movement....!!!!!!!!✨✨✨✨

Okay this is gonna be long

I just lost every single one of my friends just to help my best friend and now I've just been left alone 

But I I have no idea if it's me that the bad person here for getting upset over something small. Last week when my friend (we'll just call her Ava so it's easier to explain thats not her real name) Ava was off school so I was sitting with the rest of the group having lunch like normal when suddenly they  all start talking shit about Ava and her new boyfriend at the time saying things like " oh that's not gonna last long we all know what's going to happen" and how Ava got lucky and just generic shit talk about how she acts, appearance ect. So I decide to record the conversation since Ava is a really good friend of mine and what they were saying was horrible stuff. I text Ava and show her everything and she's pissed so during the weekend we talk it over and decide to confront them even though that probably wasn't the best thing to do but we were angry, basically what I did was tell them I had recorded the entire conversation and suddenly everyone floods myahs DMS with apologies even though the day before they had talked so big about them always being right and Ava always being so stupid and dull, Ava just ignored them and says he doesn't want to talk to them she just wanted them to know that she knew. We all then stop talking except for me and Ava of course. About a week later full of us just trying to avoid the group I come to school and see Ava and them talking which surprised me. I asked Ava what was going on but she just said that they had tried to explain everything to her so I just ignored it since I don't want to be one of those jealous nosy friends. The next day after school I was just sitting at home when the sport group chat starts blowing up (me, Ava and the other group are in that chat with a bunch of other people in our year we usually just tend to ignore eachother on it) and I seeava and the rest of the group talking like normal again joking around and making inside jokes just regular friend things I guess and getting really close which caught me off guard especially after Ava said she would never speak to them again especially after what they all said about her. i then saw that Ava had changed her pfp to a photo of her and her and the group going out to some resturuant, They were all friends again? After I had ruined my relationship with people I genuinly liked just to help her and now she's just gone and become friends with them again without even telling me? Now she's always hanging around them and I can't come up and talk to her because everyone else there hate me because I recorded their conversation. I know I probably should have just ignored the shit talk but I felt like I owed it to Ava because she had down the same to some other people for me and I stuck to it and I never spoke to those people again because of what they had said and I'm not saying she should do the same for me but it just kinda makes me feel like shit and I also don't want to confront Ava about it because I know she's just going to respond with something like "sorry I didn't realise you controlled who I'm friends with" and I know that she's right and I feel so selfish for thinking this way but I feel like I've just sacraficed my entire friend group just for her and now I'm left with nothing  and I don't know what to say to her because she's acting like we are all good friends again when we're not I'm just so angry but I feel ashamed to be angry because it's her choice wether or not she's friends with someone or not but I feel like she could have told me she was probably gonna speak to them again before I confronted them and ruined my friendship with them but I know that's difficult to do I guess but am I the bad person here?? I don't know if I should confront Ava or not 
(Sorry if there's any misspellings English isn't my first language)

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts