I am tired of all these voices in my head continuously draining me out. Just give me a damn break from all this. I am struggling in doing even basic things. Something always feels wrong. No matter what i do its never enough. I am never enough. I hate the way my brain functions. I hate the way i think, talk, walk, feel and do things. I feel like when ever i take a small step someone knocks me off and i start falling into this deep dark well of darkness that never ends. Whenever i think things are getting better. They get worse.

It happens. And its okay. You will get through this

Overthinking

missing your own energy?like what happened to me? Yeah that shit hurts

3am Thoughts

I think God hate me. Why He has to create me like this? Ugly, unsuccessful, poor, lazy, weak. I cannot even able to win the hearts of the one I loved so dearly. And I even want to die because of that. I probably in the time which people called "quarter life crisis", but I do feel too weak to passed this. Feels like nothing is working properly in my life. Even a smallest failure gave so much impact on my mentality.

I used to be a religious person, and now I feel like betrayed by God Himself. I hate this. I know it's wrong to think like this, it drifting me away and away to the religious teaching, but this is what I feel, and I cannot handle it anymore

Confusion

The first rule of ocd club is that there has to be a second rule so we have an even number of rules 😂...
Is anyone with me in this ??😁

Spoiler, we die in the end. 

I've never been in so much preasure my entire life. I don't have time to stop and enjoy life, I have 3 different work cenarios in my week, constantly the 3 of then in my mind. I'm starting to feel like th insecure teen I was thinking nobody likes me or cares for me because whenever I try to see my friends there are always unforeseen events. I know people didn't left me, it's just me that don't have anytime.. But still I feel exhausted and sad all the time for a month now.. Just wanted to express this..

Work

I felt alone these days... But oddly satisfying silence. Finally i solved my problems. I was greedy. I was tried to idealized her for my own pleasure. I feel sorry for her.

Second thing  to value myself. Nobody really nobody can't put value on us. Nobody can't determine. So we should determine our prize.

I feel like crying. I skip a lot of prayers. I don't do anything to take care of myself. I rarely pray. Don't  bath.I'm pathetic i know. 


I don't feel like my life has a point.  I'm playing with myself. I'm living under a country which do not have anything to offer. I feel pathetic to be full of myself. But what else? Why it is so rude and foolish to dream a little more? Why? 

I should listen to elders. I should know my place. It's not my position to dream anything. That all happens only in fiction. Is that it?


Conflict

I'm surrounded by my friends and loved ones but I still feel like there's this void in my heart and I feel something's missing and I don't feel at peace. 

Lonely

I'm very fed up of my life and I feel trapped and think dying is the only way out .....no one around me try to atleast understand my emotions and care what is going on with me.
I'm very tired of my life and my situation.....I have tried finding solutions and even telling someone about what's going on with me but it's hasn't worked.....I have even told my parents but for them I think word like depression doesn't exist....and I've reached this situation because of them only ..for them only big name and society exist and there is nothing more precious for them than their reputation.....I feel very lost and think I can't survive for much time.

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