I am so tired of life. I am so tired of struggling all the time. I am so tired of constantly feeling the need to achieve and perform to be valued. I am exhausted. I want death, I want rest and I want a life that's happy. I wish I could die. But I lack the courage to finish the job physically 

Watch into the wild.... Might get some perspective 

At this stage, it's better to get professional support.

Depression

Happy janmashtami to all

Happy

How to unlove someone??

3am Thoughts

I want to be a Pilot but my financial status is not letting me to peruse this. Could you please recommend me of some scholarship programs in India 

Overthinking

Anyone up to talk??

Personal Growth

My name should be enola than a name means "friend"
I feel lonely
Stuck in the same me i always been 🎶

I think I just realised how my best friend betrayed me 15 years ago. It was not much. We were barely 4 or 5 years old so I can't blame her.
We had clay modelling competition and me being more artistic than her, had a better model. It was that of a penguin and I even remember adding some silver glitter on the paper to depict snow. Once we are done we were asked to leave first. I slightly felt uncomfortable leaving it there. My sense told me to stay for a while. Since I was done and had nothing to do I felt awkward sitting simply there so I left. Then our teacher called out students who didn't do well or not completed to give them extra time. They called me to, I was confused since I did a very good job. When I went to my place, I was about to cry. My penguin was not there. There was a grey fence like structure instead of it in a different paper. I was looking around to see if someone took it, but all the tables it was not there. I didn't even have extra clay. I felt horrible that day. My friend who made a butterfly won a second prize. I did feel happy for her but I was sure mine was way better than her. I didn't realize what had happened that time. I was too innocent. I didn't even tell anyone about it. I wanted to tell the teacher but I couldn't because of my selective mutism. I felt even bad when I got a participation certificate. I totally forgot the whole thing for years. But then it stroke me this morning when I was thinking back about my time in school, someone deliberately took my penguin away. Back then I even wondered my friend didn't have grey clay, so if she took my penguin, where did the clay come from. When I'm writing this I realized someone had mixed the clay model. There was a fence like structure in my place of a grey colour. Someone must have smashed it. The black and white penguin was now a grey mess. I never realized that the fence like structure was my penguin until today. It might seem like a small thing to you. It's a small thing now. But back then it was a huge thing to me. I was a 5 year old kid who liked art, drawing, colouring, clay these kind of stuff. I just wanted someone to appreciate my talent, encourage me back then. It felt really bad. And I swear if this was done by my best friend back then, my life is a lie. I thought of her as my first ever best friend until now. She had a special place in my heart after these years. For being friends with me when I was young. Even though you might feel I'm just making baseless assumptions, I can feel strongly that she was the one who messed my model. 

Friends

It feels like I shouldn't be alive (No I'm not being suicidal), lost interest in life. No one loves me, no friends. Just the fake world and fake people, some are faking emotion to use me. 

Society

I just watched the movie "Clouds" and come to know of an amazing soul named Zach Sobiech. This movie's based on a true story. It's so heart warming and makes you believe in what life is. Give it a try. It's truly inspirational. 

He will always be in our hearts...

xxx

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