Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am so done with life. I am feeling worthless. I feel very suicidal. But I’m a coward to commit suicide. I’m scared. I never had any extra curricular talents nor was I good at studies. I was very shy hence i couldn’t even make friends in life. I don’t have any friends from school apart from 2 people with whom I rarely contact. Since income from an orthodox family my parents felt like I might get spoiled staying in the city where I grew up that is Bangalore they shifted me to my hometown in Kerala. Again I didn’t have a choice about the courses. My parents enrolled me for a course in a religious college in my hometown. I was so depressed by the end of three years i just made one friend. I had come back to my hometown for PG in another field which again idk why I took it. I have reached a point that i have graduated my masters and I’m not getting any jobs. I have no friends in life. I feel so lonely and I’m desperate to be heard and felt loved. My mom is a loner just like me . She is got no friends. I feel she did this to me so that I could give her company until her death. My parents never let me go out. They are the only ones i talk to. I have no friends. I’m financially dependent. I have no hobbies. I feel like procreating is very wrong now. I feel so lonely . I wish I was smart and had friends.