I am sad. I denied a guy because he is married and strangely he took a silly argument and used it against me and even turned my entire group including my sister against me. I don’t know what to do… and I way he looks at me as if he hates me to the core.
Im sorry but too little context here. Can you share what exactly was his argument
So when I denied him, he was obviously irritated. But he was making me uncomfortable… He was staring at me and apologizing to which I said okay fine and smiled at him, but I didn’t agree… later when he was setting up my sister to another guy while being drunk , he kept on pestering me if I have a problem, to which I said… No I don’t… when he was not in a position to hear me out I said I am her sister and you have just come to our lives few months back and trying to be her brother. This annoyed him… I later apologized to him but he was not ready to hear me out. He left the group chat and told everyone why he left and only this incident. I have told my sister both the incidents and he told only one. Later one day when me and her were having arguments, she said nobody likes you… everyone at the gym hates you…
Can I ask how he managed to leverage an argument to turn your sister on you? Like I’m trying to be completely unbiased with all the facts, I just wanna know what made them angry at you. Have you also explained to them that this is why you didn’t get with him?
Yes I have told him multiple times and that same day another incident happened. He was trying to set up my sister with another guy while being drunk and kept on pestering me if I have a problem with that. To which I said No I don’t… but he kept on repeating and later I said that I know for sure that she doesn’t like all this. He didn’t pay attention and I said that I am her sister, you have just came to her life few months back and trying to be her brother. This annoyed him and he first shot at me… then he left the group chat and when asked he told everyone this is the reason. My sister heard both the incidents. And later when me and her were having an argument she told nobody likes you… everyone at the gym hates you and stuff
That’s hurtful but it’s not permanent damage. My dad told me a good trick. Say ‘I’m sorry you felt that way about what I said’. You’re not taking fault for it but you’re empathising with their POV, even if it’s wrong. Life is way too short for feuds about misunderstandings. Please try to resolve things and it will all be forgotten. :/
You mean my response was hurtful?
No no no not at all. What you’ve gone through sounds hurtful. I empathise massively. But it will get better. Just hold on hope. Move on and try to make amends as best you can. X
Oh okay. I have apologized to him multiple times that night, said that I should not have said that. To which he said that he doesn’t wants to talk to me and it is better if I don’t try to talk to him either… Still after hearing your comment, I texted him in whatsapp, looks like he has blocked me. So now either I have to send a sms or just leave it be. In the gym also all of them avoids me. Although I haven’t spoken anything to them and haven’t even shared what happened
If he’s blocked you, you shouldn’t push further. Unfortunately that’s not meant to be. But please talk to your sister about it all, it can help, and she might talk to the others about it.
I don’t know what to say. She is already supporting him and avoids me. She is convinced that I am the bad one here. I have told her multiple times on other incidents that pls listen to your elder sister before hearing out others… She just doesn’t get it
I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to suggest :( time heals wounds. It won’t go on forever x
Thank you for your kind words and suggestions :)
