I am really tensed and worried…my bf is suffering from depression…i talk to him the whole day but most of the time he talks about the suicidal thoughts that he get…he talks about suicide like a casual thing…n when i start crying he stops talking about that…I asked him about the reason for such thoughts but he doesn’t give a crct reply…I had asked one of his friends to visit his home and spend time with him…but I think his friend took it as a joke…I am scared of losing him…as I have a strict family I can’t call him but only chat…I am trying my best to cheer him up but there seems no change…I don’t know what to do but I love him a lot n i cant afford to lose him…Someone pls hlp…
Hey you really don’t need to worry as much about the problem. It’s actually normal for a depressed person to think that way because he is not aware most of the time about his thoughts. It may be very scary for a normal person to register those thoughts but it’s not that scary for him so you gotta relax.
Firstly depression is just a state of mind and the person usually takes that state as reality and his thoughts run in that direction. You see this becomes a cycle. But it’s very easy to handle it as only the person has to do is be aware of this. If he is aware that he is depressed means he will not give more thought on it and try to stay in the present. He is not going to feel motivated for anything and that’s okay. Tell him that whatever the thoughts he have is perfectly fine and no need to be ashamed of it. Once he accepts this then the only way he is going to think of is getting out of it. Tell him to slowly try doing his favourite things like listening to music to trying his favourite food. Once he realises things are going his way then automatically he will start feeling better and then no one is going to stop him from being happy.
Remember acceptance is the key. However bad you are if you deny it means you are not going to do anything about it. If you accept it then there is no other way than making it better.
Hey…he has started being more worse…he has started talking mean words to me purposely so that i will leave the relationship myself n he can suicide without any guilt…Though i feel really hurt and also feel to breakup, i am afraid of losing him…i feel that i cant leave him alone in this situation but support him…My fear of losing him is increasing day by day…n i feel more lost as each day passes…pls help
Hey don’t blame any of this on you. Trust me that’s how a depressed person would want to be. Because he doesn’t want to show his bad side to anyone he just wants to show his good side to everyone which right now he cannot so he wants nobody around. Ultimately he is worried about you that he cannot be the ideal guy and instead got you into his set of problems. I feel sorry for you that you have to go through such a phase and I am also grateful that you are there with him despite of him in being such a terrible place.
If you think that the condition is getting worse then you really need to get help. For handling some things you need external help and this is the right time. For him to get better firstly he should actually start thinking about getting better. If he has lost hope that anything can get better then no matter what you do it wouldn’t work. To do that someone has to convince him that whatever has happened let it be and look about now what you want to do. You are a brave woman and I know you will get him out and you two can enjoy your life happily.
Also I have one thought to say which my favourite Sadhguru has said and I want you both to read this: "If you are depressed then that’s fine. But if you are depressed and worried about being depressed then now there are 2 problems. So atleast be happy and depressed so that you have only 1 problem. Happy means not happy about being depressed, just simply being happy. Only when you are joyful you can function at your highest capacity. "
I wish luck for you and don’t forget to reply to me if it gets better.
Thank you so much for your valuable support.Now he is alright and has come out of that bad phase of his life. Once again thank u😊
Hey, you are doing great with helping him! Make him aware that how important he is to you. Chat with him to make him understand that you really care about him! And provide him with resources or help which makes him feel better! There are whole bunch of helplines for suicide preventions. Check them out according to your area and ask him that he really needs to make a plan where he can have some things on the list to do if he thinks of suicide for example: Talk to you, go for a walk, be with his family/friends!
I hope this helps:)
I chat with him the whole day…but since 3 days since i am having placement classes the duration of chat has reduced…i try to be connected with him as muchas possible…but still he has no change…i even feel whether i have started becoming a problem to him…
Why do u think that way that you have become a problem for him? And is there any other person that you can talk to regarding his situation that can help him out, someone from the family/friends?
Nobody will get the right medication without telling the truth to the doctor.
And few are the smart ones who are capable enough catch them and give them right and required treatment.
Hi, this is my first time using this site.
Being a person dealing loneliness and depression, i might be able to offer some advice.
Firstly I’d recommend not reaching out to his friends right now. One thing i learnt aren’t educated enough to know how to respond to these situations the right way.
While your BF opens up to you, he may not do so with his friends and actually joke about it all with them, so they may not fully understand the situation.
Write down the things he says, this will allow you to break down his responses into pieces you can better understand.
Journaling has helped me to unclutter my mind quite a lot. its like having a conversation with your self.
Regarding his depression, he may not give a direct answer right now, because he might think its too sensitive, painful, or just some sort of a mental block that locking him away.
The reasons might be due to something recent, could be something that happened years ago or childhood that’s now triggered and slowly coming forward.
Win his trust, let him open up, give assurances that your presence/support is always available. Being his GF is not enough and avoid judging his based on this. Be a friend, the best you can ever possibly be.