I am on the verge of giving up on everything - my career, my life and myself. I have always been a person who needs someone, I have never been all by myself. I have always been with someone who helped me get through life till here and now, all of the sudden it feels like I am all alone. I don’t have anybody.
All my friends for whom, I have been there no matter what it was, no matter in what situation they were - just left.
The situation is that there is this guy, who is older to me and we have a FWB situation going on, but on some extent I have started to get emotionally attached and I am unable to stop myself to feel this way. I know I am the one who will get hurt and will face everything once this ends - which is eventually going to because he is looking at girls for marriage, but I just can’t help. I am in a place where everything gets blurred when it comed to him. I look at him and I can’t think of anyhting else. I am not letting this affect my career and I am trying to come on the grounds that this is what it is, but I just can’t. When I went to my best friends, they told me to leave him as it will hurt me less, and I know that. I know the solutions to these - it is not like I am doing this because I want to get hurt, the truth is I cannot help it.
With this going on in my mind, I tried talking to my best friends - two people for whom I have been there in the worst decesions they have made and all I got to hear was that I have learn to get through with this by myself because this is my choice and they don’t get it. I mean THEY DON’T. I wanted to tell them that I was not looking for a solution, I was just looking for comfort. I was looking for someone who make me feel heard. I didn’t go to them so that they can get me out of it, but to get a place where I can vent out, but probably, that is too much to ask for. I don’t blame them as they are obviously looking out for me and they are worried about me. I am just not okay with the fact that they can’t accept me with my choices.
I know, I can sound very stupid here, I know, I might come out as someone who is willing to get hurt - but the truth is I am holding on te the hope, the slightest hope that I have about me and him being together at the end.
I’d recommend a confession to the guy. Your relation with him is already coming close to a end he’s looking for a girl to marry and you need to focus on your career. A confession will help you get your feelings out and if he doesn’t have the feelings for you your fwb will come to an end which will help in your healing. Just my opinion though.
the possibility that he might not have the same feelings and eventually I loose him as a friend as well… is the biggest fear that i have. I don’t want to loose him.
Dreamer @aheadofthecurve
Nahh, nothing you mentioned is stupid, infact I’m surprised how aware you’re about your own feelings which is a good thing . Its only natural to feel this way and there’s nothing others can really do to make you feel better.
Just enjoy whatever time you’ve left with him for nothing in this world is permanent even the suffering you’re going through rn
Just a suggestion: make sure to end things once he gets married, cuz it’ll probably complicate each one of your lives.
