Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am obsessed with breastfeeding feelings.

It all started a year ago It was so normal in my life. There was one girl I liked. I want to be with her. But she has a boyfriend already i was feeling attached to her. After a year she broke up. I try to tell her I liked you more than friends earlier too but she always says like you are important to me i like you.

She always let me hug and touch her. Around waist and kiss on cheeks. Or sometimes she sleeps on my lap. It was hard for me to not feel like friends. I liked her for a year. In the middle of this i always do her work whenever she needs me even in little things. Buy stationary buy other things or she wants to go anywhere i always go with her. Always say yes to her all things.

She even tells me why you always say yes to all my things. I can’t answer that. I started caring for her so much i was so attached to her.

After a year her boyfriend ditched him and she broke up. After a month I tell her by writing a note. And share her she reads then she says I can’t be with you. Like my family will not allow me to marry you. She says I am Christian our religion is not the same but I tell her i can change it for you because I really love you.

I get irritated and lost now i give her one week to answer that she says she only wants to be friends with me. And i say i cannot be like this sorry after that she didn’t talk and i also but i really miss her. But my friend told me the reason why she didn’t like me. He said she says you are a numb person like you don’t enjoy anything just be like silent and calm you are just boring. It hurts me i always try to make her smile and make her feel cared. I was so devastated hearing this i am so bored I started feeling sad.

I feel hate in myself. Frankly I’m not able to feel confident about myself now. I become so low then i download a few apps and start chatting with online people. I was talking to one girl at night things get out of control and i ask for Breastfeed suddenly i feel like a baby who wants to just feel safe in someone’s arms and latch to breast. I start chatting with her She shows me breast we do like Breastfeed roleplay. I never felt so cared for before and so loved. I kinda feel safe when she says me come latch to me baby. I became like a child and started chatting with her while seeing her breast i was feeling I was sucking her nipple.

After that I became obsessed with the Breastfeed thing. I always felt for someone to chat with me online show breast and Breastfeed me. But they just talk for one or two days. Then they are gone. I talked to married women also and did things that i think i shouldn’t have done. But now I have become addicted to breasts and chatting online. Seeing breast or breastfeed via VC.

Right now I talk with women I think she likes me and i also start liking her. She shows me breasts too and says I love you. But she has a job where she can’t be with me much online when she is not with me. Again i feel for Breastfeed now i look for someone who has real milk in the breast. But I feel i am bad i am doing wrong i also don’t know if she loves me or not. By thinking all of this i feel stuck and end up asking 1000 girls about breastfeeding and always look for that who have milk and Breastfeed me online or real. I become so obsessed it’s affecting in real life i can’t able to do my work i just chat with people online i am stuck in this loop for one year. I can’t get out i feel so guilty and bad.

What should i do please tell me