I am not good with people. So have no friends let alone love. When I talk the conversation goes for a few minutes and then the other party is not further interested. Don't know what the issue is. Then I found this platform thoughts things will be different,  but the story is repeating. Life is quite hard for me as usual as I am struggling and suffering form 2 very major issues and I mean real major issues.  So even if I chart out a plan or gather enthusiasm for future this absence of people hurts me. I find no reason why I should even try anything and rather end everything. When you don't have someone a friend or a love no amount of effort to overcome issues makes sense. Tell me what should I do?

Enjoy being alone and LOVE YOURSELF.....dont avoid yourself because you might be avoiding the most amazing person in the world...take care yourself

3am Thoughts

Kalesh kar aai

I JUST WANT TO
KEEP GOING FORWARD
EVEN IF IT'S
ONLY A  TINY STEP.

Hello guys! I have been drained for the past few days, it keeps getting worse and i dont think i would handle a depressive episode at this moment, they hit me hard an usually last couple of months. I dont really have friends to talk to so thought I give this a try, first time here so I don't know how this works. Hope you guys are having a good day though!!

Depression

sometimes i want to die because i don’t have the body i had a few years ago and now seeing all these stretch marks from the struggle of losing and gaining weight is stressing that sometimes i want to kms and start a new life with a new body, like if i was a whiteboard that could be cleaned.

i hate having an ed but i can’t stop it, even if i recovered already it never left my side 

Suicidal Ideation

I’ve lately felt so ugly and disgusting. Everyday I catch myself scrubbing and scratching my skin off. Everytime I see myself in the mirror, I can’t bear to look at myself. I starve myself because I genuinely don’t want to eat anymore. I don’t sleep anymore because all I could think about is everything that went wrong. Everything just repeats over and over. And I just spend most days in bed, hating my life, and then getting energy and hope again just to be manic the whole time. I never trust my moods anymore. One second Im optimistic and the next I want to disappear from Earth. The drugs I have taken make the experience 10x worse than ever. I am trying to stay sober. But I relapsed again today with pills. But I will stop. 

Addiction

Just wish to know how he will react after I die :)

There is an invisible string which connects her pain and mine, though her pain is worse than mine, though my love was one sided, she has tasted love which is sweeter than wine, which made hard for her to be fine, as I lay on my bed with sleepless nights, I knew she was facing the same but with crying and dying, with each passing as day my hope was dying she did enough to keep her alive, as moments of sorrows increased and multiplied by battering rejections which drove us mad and get into addictions, and which made life a lie.
Being rebellious as our defenses, we raised our fences which became seditious to harm our own.
Though my story ended, her story went on, As He came back as a gift for her unending hope, she kept on asking is this my reward for unending hope or a flickering light of a fast dying lamp, she lives in the dilemma of being together and not, her pain is attached to invisible string which connects to mine.

Crush

Really depressed. im in an unhappy relationship, it's toxic, i love her but she is constantly telling me im a tramp, im the devil, she hates and to go and that knowone wants me here. She told me to kill myself today and i really want to, i just cant bare the thought of my 2 daughters crying over me. I have no family that i like at all, i'd rather die than ever turn up at any of there houses. I have knowhere to go and the thought of starting my life again just inforces my suicidal thoughts. I feel so low. i feel like crying all the time yet i cant cry. I just hate my exsistance.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts