I am new at this soo idk what to say .....i guess this is a rant. So i have a boyfriend..Both of us agreed to keep it casual since we knew i would get an arranged marriage. I am 21 btw. I got a match through a party i went to yesterday and his mother loves me now. I am in my final semester of college and that guy is 26 years old....earns well and uk the shit. My bf is also nice sweet and is successful......i already got a job....no financial problems or anything.My bf is young too so i cant randomly ask him abt marriage that will spook him and i cant reject this guy without a legitimate reason....he is okay with me studying after marriage and shit man.....

Yes you ca study after marriage also but it's a little difficult you know .

Fights
Constant and frequent and increasing in intensity
I love him
We have been together for 6 years
WE have made so much mistakes 
Now, fighting on small issue which manifest past problems and make it bigger
Its me who says sorry to settle things but the words that I left unsaid keep building up inside me and hurting me mostly
I am in constant sadness and pain
No, word to put it together how badly I want the warmth I felt before.
Like, I am lost in a white fog. 

Relationships

hi!

i have been dealing with a lot of issues. but the one I want to talk about right now is this.

i have been told that when I find new friends, I tend to forget about the old ones. and today, this same line was told to me by my boyfriend whom i love so much and means everything to me. in the past week, i couldn't make time for him and i am sorry for it. he thinks that his importance for me is no more. but its not true. he means a lot to me. and i just want him to know that. when i told him this, he told me that now he tired of hearing these promises everytime. he has been like the perfect boyfriend for me throughout. how can i be the same to him? how can i make him understand that people may come and go in my life but he is my constant. i feel uneasy and dizzy everytime he says how hurt he is. he affects me in ways even i don't understand. in fact, he is the one who made me fall in love with myself. I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. i just want him to know, that ill be always there for him no matter what. i wish i could just hug him if it weren't for the long distance. 

i really don't want people to think that ill forget them once i find new ones. 

Long Distance Relationship

My life is shitty i think about him all the time i cry myself to sleep and now i am getting over him but it's gonna take time 

Breakup

Days have passed.. months have passed we still only talk and talk ... And I love him a lot, he loves me as well .. after a misunderstanding we are back again ... We never proposed eachother neither are we in relationship but he cares a lot for me I think and ik I care for him... I love him from the core of my heart, I pray for him everyday even when we were not talking for around 2months I still prayed for him, for his happiness, for his wellbeing never really prayed for him to come back .. doesn't matter he stays with me or without me I just want him to be successful, happy and fine ❤️
~Will love you always my monster 

Love

Feeling more over-emotional than usual 😟 I tend to be pretty sensitive, but lately I've been more prone to crying spells over silly things. I like to think I'm good at thinking logically, but I feel like my brain and gut don't work together well haha.

Something I'm concerned about is that I'm having more crying spells, specifically while on the phone with my partner (long distance). We've dated for a long time and finally met in person a couple months ago. Ever since I've travelled back home, I feel more emotionally unstable. Something about being held romantically for the first time ever only to have it taken away, sort of broke me I think. I don't want to become emotionally dependent by Any means, I know that's unhealthy for the both of us, but lately I cry so much and just want to be in his arms again. I'm totally doing it now, haha 😅 Luckily we have great communication, and he is patient and understanding. 

Relationship stuff aside, I also struggle terribly with compulsive skin picking. I'll basically injure myself for long stretches of time, it makes me feel better in the moment, but it's done a number on my self esteem. I'm on anxiety medication and acne treatment stuff, but it feels hopeless that I'll ever get better. It really feels like I pick my skin to stop myself from crying, it's a frustrating cycle.

I don't want people to worry too much about my sensitivity and crying so much, but at the same time I just really want help. I want to be nurtured and told it'll be okay. My stuffed animals and blankets are a huge help, but I just always feel like I need more comfort.

TL;DR, I have sudden bursts of crying and compulsive skin picking, and it makes me feel really hopeless and empty.

Any comments, feedback, or anything would mean so much. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I don't want to bother my friends. 😥 Thanks so much for reading! 💖

Anxiety

i was in a toxic relationship,i broke up completely with him 4 months ago,and now somewhere.. i am scared to fall for anyone or get attached, but recently...i faced loss of my 3 family members... during that time i was chatting with one guy and i feel that he like me...i kind of have soft corner too... but am i doing it right? i cant stop myself from talking to him no matter how much i try to avoid him...somewhere he is always there in my mind but, when i think about my past that no this is not happening i am not meant for this....am i doing right by talking to him?

Confusion

there is something in my mind bothering me I don’t know what to do about that
i feel whatever i did in the past 6 months was good or not

i broke up with my boyfriend i had to give him some reason so i told him that my parents saw my messages and we can be together anymore
although the actual reason I couldn't tell him bcz that thing embarrasses me every moment

Guys guys guys.. thankss all of you ☺️
I finally (partially) moved on from my boy bestfriend completely with your advice and help...
He was just so bad for my it was probably a toxic friendship..
But whenever I see him I get hurt idk why although I don't feel anything but sometimes it just feels when he's around generally I don't feel bad of anyone's ignoring me and say idgaf..
But but..he's just pinching me sometimes like I don't want him back in my life but I don't want him to completely go away... like sometimes I still hope when there's a notification it's him.. but
Ohh god idk what's happening to mee
Logo ne itna samjata phir bhi bas wohi wohi.. ugghh..it's something weird yaar..I can't mann..
Ohkk..so I have moved on but not moved on.. weird naa? I thought the same..idk mann..it's weirdest thing happening to me.. okk I just wrote all the mess that was disturbing my mind here..I feel much more better..hashh..
Thanks friends..
Best platform ever..😄
And trust me...I am getting the weirdest mood swings😂😅


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