I am in my early 40s (male), I left home when I was 15 and I have been on my own since. about 16 years I met my best friend Kim (woman). I love her to bits and I consider her my family. She has been with me through hard times and I too have stood with her through trying times.
She is lesbian and that allowed to trust that we were meant to be friends and nothing else and we have both always respected that boundary. Two years ago we both realised that we actually loved each other more than we thought and we slept together. This happened a couple of times until I stopped it. She asked me not to contact her because she could not deal with the emotions involved.
I have been suffering for two years, I miss her so much. I miss my friend and family. I don’t know if I should contact her and try to repair our friendship. I understand how hurt she must have been by my actions.
This affects my days, my work. I am losing self-esteem and i feel useless most of the times. I am not looking for sympathy or sex. I just want my friend back so much. She means a lot to me. I don’t know what to do.
Have to respect her feelings; but I think there should be an effort made to contact her and speak your feelings. Sometimes feelings have to be expressed, and she may be missing you as well; never know until one of you comes forth.
Basically, I think if you have genuine feelings of missing kinship, you should express it…from a female’s perspective though it can be hard to just let-go when you have been intimate. Take a chance though if it calls to you.
If not so spontaneous…maybe just focus on you for a while and make sure it is not just a female’s company you miss.
Thank you for your reply. It’s good to hear from a woman’s point of view. Lesson learned, never risk friendship with love. Just wanted to let you know that I just sent her a message on WhatsApp. It was delivered and read but no reply yet. I am grateful that she didn’t block me. Now the waiting game begins, it’s been 2 years already but I am willing to wait as long as it takes.
I am happy that I took the step and told her how sorry I was.
Again thank you.
Pawan kumar @pawanism
Hey brother ,
Don’t loose urself first. Be calm and positive.
Did you where is she??
If yes then follow the next procedure either you have to find her.
Simply you had to come close to her by making steps of careness to her.
The whole world is mean Therefore, it is better that in time we turn our life right and show him his destination Listen brother, you have to spend time with your friend, consider all the conditions and understand him and give him a chance to understand you too. With this excuse you will be able to spend time with your friend and never force him Slowly she herself will start coming close to you, just once you accept all her conditions and call her to live with you and starts care for her.
“Have a good life”
Thank you brother, means a lot to hear such words.
Pawan kumar @pawanism
My pleasure buddy
You can also contact me here