I am in a relationship with my GF for almost 2years by now, i will admit there were times that we did fight over things and there were times that i became a bit rude tho i really feel guilty about it and am very sorry, I’m going through a lot of things too and so does her, one day when i thought she’s just busy over her online exams she began to be cold to me and it took over a week or 2 weeks i think before she confessed her feelings, ofc i broke down because i was not prepared or was very shocked, she said she wanted to be alone, she wanted to find herself and that she wants to do things without any worry, judgement, or responsibility (does not include flirting or cheating ofc) she was breaking up with me but then we agreed along the way that it will just be a cool off and that we will have a “date” after the quarantine but im paranoid because she keeps says that but also she keeps saying there is no certainty, since i have other problems and worries as well i kinda feel heavy from all of those emotions, i tried to hurt myself for 2 days but i did stop and i am currently doing my best to be positive but to be honest i still don’t know how to cope up with it, she said as well that she already has a trauma playing with me on GW2 because of the accidental rude things that happened and she did mention that she doesn’t want me there, she doesn’t want me to play the game with her and she doesn’t want me to mention her to anyone ingame or in real life even tho it was just a cool-off but recently she suddenly offers me her help on playing the game and i tried to refuse because i feel bad and guilty and knowing that she said she doesn’t want me playing with her there, she then replied that i should focus on the present but then with the same logic does that mean those past words can easily be just poof gone ?
I also i just want to point out that ingame she befriended someone i feel uncomfy with even tho she is aware that i was uncomfy about the guy, the guy only seems to value females too and even said i was “off” to talk to even tho i can show someone a screenshot of our convo ingame and disagree because i did try my best to please him, sigh but then yeah i talked to my GF about this she said she had so many potential friends that she couldn’t befriend but take note i’m not even choking her and controlling her but i do understand she did have an Ex BF like that but still the only guys i warned her were actual guys that are really hitting on her/really uncomfy but… in the end all she could say is that “yeah i just out of the blue wanted to befriend him” cuz she couldn’t answer me with a better answer.
On her behalf she did have a bad Ex BF and i don’t to be like that guy no way but like i said i did some unintentional rude things, deep down my heart i never wanted to hurt her and never wanted to lose her, it really hurts my heart when i heard about her feelings recently and it feels like im not a loss and that she lost her love for me.
She did say that if i want to re-kindle our love all i have to do is be strong and positive until the quarantine ends but while in quarantine she demands that we are just friends (Cool-Off).
She is not a bad person aswell and she is not like my last Girl who is really manipulative and flirty, she is a person with a good heart.
i really am trying my best here but deep inside i still feel heavy and i don’t really know how to remedy my thoughts considering this quarantine can be longer and potentially be extended to a year I don’t know I really miss our relationship but she does still talk to me and she does let me flirt a little and lets me share our old couple pics that we had together.
I’m having anxiety and depression and i just have no one to talk to, i really need help…