I am gratef of @nowandme today. Thanks for creating this platform.💖 Please keep it this way always. 

After all the courage from 2yrs about something is wrong with me, I knew somewhere I got depression. But today I talked to a Psychiatrist over a call, he told me so casually it is  depression and you have to take some medicines. And all this while I thought it is a big thing right? Not normal. 
It's just that I got a validation from dr. that I have depression. I didn't feel any good tho, maybe I got expectations more coz of our this community. I get more Support from here. I am so thankful, that people are so kind here. Thanks to all those, who replied to my depressing and negative vents💖


Now&Me Feedback

Tell me something about superpowers you all looking for?

Body Positivity

Is there any service to wake me up at 5am🤪Alarm clock doesn't work on me. 

Life

It's funny how when you were a child you'd look up to your parents thinking they're the most intelligent and courageous people in the world. It makes sense how you would ask for their help and such because they're the adults and they know better than you. Then you grow up yourself and you learn things your parents never did, you know things about life now as the younger generation about taboo topics your parents never dared utter a word. Mental Health, Sex Ed, Climate Change, etc. Along with that, you start to open your eyes and see that your parents are nothing more than lost humans who don't know everything. 

Especially South Asian Immigrant parents, you realised that now, you can't rely on them like you use to, you can't confide in them your secrets and deepest because they wouldn't understand. At this point, you understand you're alone. Some are blessed and privileged to have affectionate and understanding parents, but mine never healed, never got over their trauma from their childhood. So of course that's affecting me and my sister. 

They try their best but I don't think they were meant to be married to be each other, let alone have kids. I never felt so alone whenever I come home, they don't know, the me now, only the me in the past before teenage hood. I have to learn to navigate life and all its formalities on my own, finances, studies, and administrative issues, I have to teach myself this since my parents understandably can't. Because they don't understand the system in another country.

Family

I don't know why some of you people are such assholes!!people come here to vent,or to talk about their sexualities ,and then there's the lot of you who make fun of them or comment such mean things,things you wouldn't have the guts to say in person.Acting all mighty behind your screens,pathetic 🤦‍♀

Conflict

 How many people are there?

Anxiety

I am currently in a thinking about something and would like to share it with others and see what they think.

The situation is as follows:

There is a friend (let’s call them X) who is leaving and there are two friends (Y and Z) and we all belong to the same friend group.

X planned to do something with me before leaving. However, the day that we were supposed to hang out together, friends Y and Z started asking X to go out with them to a performance and X agreed and cancelled with me. Again, this was the day we were supposed to hang out and it was after a previous reschedule.

After what happened, I stopped hanging out with that group and speaking with them without any explanation because that really hurt me. Currently, whenever that group hangs out with the bigger friend group, I don’t go because I don’t want to speak with them, even though sometimes they invite me and that kinda makes me lonely now and I don’t know what to do. Am I overreacting to what happened? Wanna hear what you guys think.

Friends

It hurts right? When you want to talk to someone, and express yourself and they are not even replying to your text but available online. The same person who calls you to fight with you, coz why you not talking. You know your place in life then, that you are an option when no one's there. It hurts, when you want to tell how much they mattered to you and how many efforts you have put as well. It was not one sided frendship Just coz you want to be alone for sometime. It hurts they are ignoring you after all they telling you that you matter to them

Background- So my boyfriend (since 2.5 years) doesn't seem to have time for me /he doesn't feel like talking to me/ I REALLY DON'T KNOW!
This has been a pattern since he lost his dad few months back due to covid.
I have given him a lot of space and have let him be for long periods of time. 

I have suffered a lot too. Overthought, didn't sleep for nights thinking of weird scenarios, feeling insecure, anxious etc etc.

I don't seem to be getting any kind of validation (mostly). Seems like only I call him, text him etc. Even if I give him a hint that I'm upset, he just texts back some excuse like I was tired na. Came home and slept. No sorries, no call even after that. It's been more than an entire long weekend since he hasn't called me. Randomly texted me "Hiii" in the afternoon today like everything is okay on his end. I don't want to reply back. I didn't reply, still he didn't call.  

I am upset with him coz of the same thing happening again and again and I have communicated to him earlier as well. I was really anxious, so I wwrote down my feelings in my notes. But never sent it to him. This might give you a little clarity too. 
"I just want you to care. Jab main itna adjust karti hu tere liye. Itna space deti hu, itne din I let you be chahe main kitni khapp gayi hu andar se, chahe kitna bhi ro rahi hu,. In one call, I forget everything and start talking to you. I forgive you without you having to do anything. Then why can't you do this much? 
Kyun nahi khayaal rakh sakta ki main kya soch rahi hu. Ki main call karlu. Reply kardu. Ek baar kuch keh du. Even after me giving you hints that I'm upset or something is upsetting me, you're like fine. Or main nahi kar sakta. Mujse nahi hota/horaha. 

I don't understand why I'm so involved. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. Sometimes I think I'm wrong that I'm getting so emotionally messed up for you. I should just move on. I waste so much time overthinking. Why do you let me be for so long. Why can't you understand that I get so emotionally exhausted. I can't handle this shit. It's very very difficult. I can't breathe. It makes me anxious. I panic. 

I question my own self. Is it just me? My insecurities? Or is it actually you? 

Am I crazy? Is my mind fucked up? Am I asking for too much? 

I just want to be treated right. If I'm not ok and he knows it, he shouldn't atleast ignore it"

I just feel weird. I've really done everything and been there for him silently, given him space and everything. 

I'm so so so so so upset with him. And I don't have the energy to communicate and listen to the other side this time. I'm brimming with my own stuff. I can't understand his side this time, no matter what he says. 



Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts