I am filled with guilt and frustration.
I am going anonymous because I just dont want my family to ever get to know about the following incident. I dont have anybody to share with. I come from a little conservative muslim family. when i was in 7th grade this usthad used to come to my house to teach quran. because i was a quite sensitive shy kid he took advantage of me. He used to touch me innapropriatly and do dirty things when my parents were not around. he taught me certain things that kids of my age shouldnt be knowing back then. Because of whic my behvaior started changing by the time i reached 15 all i wanted to was get into relationships and was so desperate my family understood since then i have cgnaged and became very conservative but still my parents look at me with a dirty eyes. Now i am 20 and still it haunts me.
I am so sorry you went through something so horrifying. How could he take advantage of a child, but don’t you worry God will deal with him in his own way. Don’t blame yourself for the things that were done to you it’s not your fault. I think it’s hard for your family to understand you because they don’t know your story. They don’t know what you’ve been through. You’re a strong person to carry all of that pain with you but you have to let go of the pain. You have to realize that you’re worth more, you deserve more. I think when you’re ready you should talk to someone in your family you trust, tell them what happened to you. I think it helps when we let out that pain. This is a start. There is no reason for you to feel guilty you’re the victim here you had no control over what that person did to you. I think you’re strong and inspiring I’m sure your family think so don’t let go of that shame or it will haunt you. You deserve to be happy. I hope this helps if you need to talk more done be afraid to write. :)
That one thing changes the whole life and point of view of others at us. But don’t worry you are a strong girl, I hope your parents will understand you.
I am truly sorry about what happened to you.
A family member of mine sexually abused me when I was a child. I wish I could forget it.
One thing that helped me heal was to realize that the person who hurt me was also hurt by someone else. They were a victim in their own way. It doesn’t make their actions right. But I can see why they became so twisted and I feel sorry for them.
But the thing that happened is not your fault in any way. There is no reason for you to feel guilt. People who hide behind the mask of religion to abuse others will answer to God one day.
I hope you can find healing, and I hope you move on to a happier mental space soon.