I am feeling lost. Everything’s fading. It happened a month ago but then shook it off but now that feeling has returned. I don’t know what to do. It’s too much work, work of everything. Studies, home problems, love life and college. All of this is slipping away, like I am falling into a hole or something. I am trying to understand things, trying to look them at the brighter sight but everytime I do I feel that I am letting myself into darkness, unknown place.
What exactly happened a month ago?
A month ago I passed the day where I was the happiest. About a year ago I had this guy with me and he was everything I wanted, and I mean it. I know some people say that relationships doesn’t give you happiness but it did. I felt like a child has been given his/her favourtie thing. They broke up with me because they lost their feelings and it just ruined My entire 2020. I just started questioning myself about whatever I did with them,for them. It stopped hurting for a while because I isolated myself from that memory. But then I had my home problems and I had to take care of everyone and it ruined my cycle and my mental health. I don’t know how it affected but I think it has. I wanted to talk to someone but I just couldn’t. My best friends lives in another city so I just didn’t know how to express my feelings. It just became unbearable so I decided to meet up with my old love, just to have a chat so atleast I could talk to someone. But somehow I confessed my feelings to them and the look on their face just shattered more than it had the first time. I just shool it off as my exams are coming up in a month and I started revising and completing my incomplete topics. But then I started forgetting what I had learnt this past year and everything. Somehow my brain just stopped working. I feel so disconnected from myself.
You echo me. Just try to scream and cry once. That hleped me for a while.
I kind of did it.