I am feeling incredibly tired but all I can do is blame it on no sleep. I did get a few hours sleep but my body is exhausted. I don't know why but my emotions keep running wild nowadays. People are just calling me for everything but I'm too tired to walk and when someone is usually in a bad mood they take it out on me by saying rude things and very hurtful stuff. I don't know I am in too much of tiredness but the worst thing is nobody is listening. They are just taking out their anger on me and I feel scared that I'm losing my ability to defend myself. I just take in whatever they are saying even though I know it's wrong. I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Exhausted

 Don't know why.. but nowadays i feel like there's no one to talk with.. I'm have lots of people around me but i don't want to talk them.. it feels like I'm alone in a crowded room.. it hurts sometimes badly and sometimes it feels like blessing.. 

Mood Disorder

*One day, you'll be living the life you had once prayed for* 

Life

https://open.spotify.com/track/0G6Ws8Gbdt0S7pZeuYmkmm?si=QOTPZ-XSS1GA1cazYnPwrw

Music

 I am a girl & i am in relationship for 2.5 years now. Me n my partner literally fight every 4 - 5 dys and 90 % of time its his mistake and he knws that . Every time fight happens he yells at me abuses me , my family , my frnds (not in front of them) blames me which arent related to the current fight most of them are false blames and later he says sorry for straight 3 - 4 dys and says he won't do that again and my heart melts & i forgive and then this happens again. I am really tired from around 2.5 years this is repeatative situation. We both are very attached to each other so He won't allow me to breakup whenever i say i want to breakup he blames me for no reason and bring literally 2 years past fights . We are together since 2.5 years . we Have many close phtos of us .we arent settle ri8 now . My parents want me to get married now. They dont knw about him and he isnt ready to confess our relationship to parents. I want to get rid of this relationship but i he wont allow me and abuses me and blames me i am really afraid if he misuses our photos which can lead obstacle in my future married life please help what should i do how should i get rid of this relationship ?

Breakup

January 04. 2021

Never lie to someone who trust you and never trust someone who lie to you.

Is there anyone I can talk to?

Depression

Batmeez dil 😽

Part 1:
Being lonely is a part of my life and earlier I used to be really not able to handle it in a good way, leading to so many mental breakdown which made me convert myself into a pretencious individual who thought everything is gonna be okay if i be like that but sadly that wasnt the case as it made me push away so many people because of them not interested to be with me and they only respected me as how good of a person i am but never got close and be all ears when i needed them the most. Although, I tried to step up but I indirectly got to sense that they werent really interested in me and i made some blunt reasons that maybe i am not a good fit because of my boring character or personality per se but later i figured out that we dont go well with eachother as i am not good at initiating a conversation and just wait for the other person to speak up. I still dont know what the reason might be but i hope i get the reason someday. I admit that i am an old school but that doesnt mean i dont love trends..i really love them..just it takes time for me to catch up with these amazing trends and by the time i do, they have already left the store, without me. Maybe I got the best out of their patience and due to that, they left!!? haha..no worries..i know, it is what it is
i never believed in mass friendship! just having 1 or 2 at the very most is all good to me because they know who you are, be close to you, stand with you at ur difficult time and what not.
will continue in part 2! haha...feels like i am writing a story on me lol
still, it feels good by writing it down in here..

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