Thought

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Anonymous

I am exhausted. I am exhausted from fighting with my own parents. I am exhausted from fighting for doing what I want to do. I am exhausted from fighting for being what really I am. My mother abuses me everyday. Parents and relatives call me ‘kali’ ‘badsurat’ ‘chudeil’. My mother everytime yells at me and tell “kali hai aur upar se kale kapde pehenti hai”. She don’t like what I choose or prefer to wear. But it’s my body afterall. And its my decision what I should wear. She doesn’t support me in my career. I am 25. And I have dreams, ambitions. I want to become successful lady one day. But she is forcing me to get married. She says "pehle se hi koi ladka psand nhi karta tujhe. Upar se ser badi hoti ja rhi hai. Fir to koi bhi shadi nhi karega. Moti hoti ja rhi hai. Kali to hai hi. " She also body shame me for my private organs. I don’t like to go home. I live in PG. And my love for her is already decreased. My family is forcing me to get married. But I don’t want to marry. I don’t know what should I do now. They are not understanding me.

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3 replies
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Anonymous

I do sympathize with you. At this point, I suggest that you burn some bridges. Your family and relatives clearly don’t love you enough to respect your opinions and treat you like a human being. It’s best to get rid of toxic people like them even if they are family. I am not aware of many things but you should try to get professional help from someone who isn’t a relative. Then get away from them. Just cut off all contact with them. People who are so absorbed in their ideals will never try to understand a different viewpoint because they believe that they’re in the right (Trust me. I learned that the hard way) so you should just give up on trying to make them understand you. Sometimes you just have to let things go because it’s just not worth keeping. 
Remember that it’s your life. Marriage is a serious matter so if you don’t want to get married, don’t give in to them no matter what. Strive for your dreams and ambitions. If you give up on them then you’ll have nothing left in the end. You’ve tried to make your family understand but it hasn’t worked. It’s about time that you move on so that you can find your own happiness. It’s going to be a rough journey but I know you can do it. If there’s a will then there’s a way. If you truly wish to be happy, don’t stop fighting for yourself. Please get help from an outside force if you feel like you can’t do it by yourself. Please don’t give up on yourself, stay strong. Stay safe and I wish you the best of luck.

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Anonymous

I completely agree with the stranger who wrote before me. This isn’t what family is supposed to feel like. Family is supposed to be a source of support, strength and comfort, and not the opposite of those things. Even if your family comes from a good place in their heart or even good intentions, it isn’t healthy for you to live your life like this. And as Stranger 1 mentioned, you don’t want to screw up your marriage by giving in to something that you’re not comfortable or happy with. I can understand if this sounds foreign or absurd to you, but you have to make your own happiness. Doing this won’t be easy either, going against them or their wishes. But you will know that you are not living a suffocated life. You deserve better people who help you strive towards becoming the successful lady that you deserve to be. And till you don’t find those good people, I know you can fight this fight alone, and win ❤️

Khushboo @khushboo

Hi, thanks for sharing this with us. Since your family is forcing you, it’s not good. Try to make them realize that you want to focus on your career first. 
Your mother should not have treated you in this way. This is really not cool. 
Don’t give up due to all these things. Stay strong.

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