I am confused about my future. I am in BTech final year and yet I don't feel that I am capable enough of getting even a basic job because one thing I know for sure, this is definitely not my thing. I still am expected to get a descent campus placement because my dad has expectations and I cannot let him down. I don't know how I am going to do this with the lack of motivation and concentration needed for doing that.  can't tell him all this because he won't. I want to go into film making and dedicate myself into that but for doing that as well, I have to reach my dad's minimum expectations, I don't know what my future is going to be as I am scared that I will end up being the jack of all trades and master of none. I can't tell him all this as he won't like it but I can't keep this inside me anymore as it's eating me. 

Confusion

One of my friends has had her one ovary removed. It really was a very complicated surgery. 

Women Empowerment

Hi! I live in India and I am preparing for PG entrance exam but sometimes I feel maybe I should get out of this country but the thought of leaving my parents behind scares me a bit. I love travelling and photography but to afford that I am working towards becoming a doctor. But I just wonder, given the situation in India about the mental health of doctors, salaries, working hours and the overall competition everywhere, is it worth it? 
Should I just give this up and just start travelling with the little money I have instead of giving my prime years to something so hectic that might change me physically (my hair white and all the backaches of being a doctor).. 

I see my colleagues in other professions starting living their life so early while I am still grinding in med school and giving exams all the time..should I stop and just let go? When you only live once?😐

3am Thoughts

so my brother's kind of a big deal. he's good at studies, sports AND extracurricular activities. but I'm happy for him although a little jealous. the thing that really gets to me is that he has topped all his exams, got admitted to a reputable college and has won numerous scholarships. kind of the star-child. i feel left out and dumb, mostly. my boards are due next year and i am so stressed. i know i will disappoint my mom and family members and not only them, his teachers and friends also count on me to score above 95% i always feel compared to him and i have been avoiding it for as long as i could but things are getting serious. numerous private tutors, barely any free time and ofcourse, the pressure. i do not want to know what is going to happen if i don't score as much as they want me to. i know i could study harder but it just doesn't happen. i have studied the best i can and even then, i can only score 85% (which, btw, is a horrible percentage according to my mother) 

Exam

Hey! I'm actually I'm feeling very sad. Never thought that I would end up on a website taking about it. This thing is kinda an ache for me from several years now. This is regarding my name. I don't like my name on the documents. I don't have my real last name but instead there is 'Kumari' before my name and I don't like it. I wanted to change it in class 10 but somehow it doesn't and 10th marksheet is kinda a date of birth certificate. This actually doesn't triggers me that much back then but now as I'm in second year of college this thing started triggering me again. I don't know what to do. I wanted to change my whole name but I don't if I can now means during my graduation and my father will not agree on this that I know. I don't know why this thing is an ache for me. Who so ever reading this I wanted say Thank you!

Depression

today my mom got mad at me just because I failed my exams. the exam was kinda easy but I took a blurry pic and sent it to my teacher. I hate this so much. couldn't the teacher say something about it at least? now I'm stressed out and feel useless to this family my mom laughs at my ambitions and my plans. she said, "you think you achieved that kind of thinking?" just could you shut up for a sec you lied to me about everything. you lied that my father would come back. you lied and hide me from the truth. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CRIED? HOW MANY DAYS AT NIGHT? wondering and feeling guilty. I wish I could tell you this but nobody would understand my mental state. there's more but I couldn't remember because my memory was lost. I wish I could just be left alone. I love you but let me live a life stop controlling me.

Family

I want to share my story and I think it will be little boring for off fielders so apologizing for that
I am 21 and just completed btech in chemical field and in the month of February I got placed in government company with the package of 18.45 lacs , they gave medicine offer letter in March itself and this was my campus placement but in June when my medical checkup was done , they rejected me on that bias saying I am having squint in my eye ( means it is slightly slant , around 4-5 degrees) but neither do I nor my parents have ever seen something like this in my eyes , Even when I was infant they haven't seen anything like this in my eyes , means it is also not visible from naked eyes and this thing is also next to normal thing but they didn't gave me any time to fix these and they just rejected me.
This also don't require any surgery just 3-4 days of exercise can be sufficient but they didn't listen to me at all. My job was gone and due to placement i was also not able to sit in any other interviews. I feel very low for that 🥺.
Now I have one offer from a private company named Aditya Birla but it's package is only 6 lacs but I have to go for it compulsuorliy and will join after 2 weeks .
But I still remember that company and the way I cracked every round of interviews and tests for the company. I sometimes overthink that what are the bad deeds that I have done that I am getting this much big punishment. Thank you for reading. 

Career

Any medicos here?

College

My parents are so stupid and pathetic. I hate them.
They were looking for my 12th board certificate. I told them that I never got one. They literally started saying that I misplaced and all And I told them again that iI didn't got one. I even texted my friend and asked her and she said the same that we weren't given the certificate.
I told my parents that none of my classmate have the certificate.
Then they started yelling that I forgot to bring from school.
I told them that mom and my sister went to my school for the marksheet and certis. 
How tf is that my mistake or even a mistake. we weren't provided one from school. Its not like I have passed 12th two times that I have knowledge of the documents that they give.
So somehow I downloaded one from digilocker. And the matter resolved.
But as soon as I left the room, they started laughing and discussing that I forgot to get the certificate from school..
How the fu"* Its my mistake. I fkin hate them so much. No matter what I tell them they never believe me. Always finding faults in everything I do. I just hate this life. Also I cant stop crying. Why tf do I have to deal with such jerks always. I dont even regret saying that.



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