I am at my lowest of my life. I never thought i will be this much scared every seconds of my life. No one in my circle understand me. I know it will be over, but it is so hard to take it anymore. I never through i could cry as much as i did for the past these few months. 

I have anxiety, so i in order to combat my anxiety i join an organization. Turns out i need to held my own program. Fear of socializing, making mistakes, failure and feeling of not good enough haunted me for the past few months. I’m not doing good, we have a lot of problems arise along the process of the program. I think my committee hate me, i think as a leader i’m the worst. All the burden and responsibilities was on me. And our program is near to the peak but so many problems arise. Every time my phone receive any notification, i got scared. I dont know either joining this helped me or making my axiety worse plus to the stress and depression it got me. 

I think I know how you might be feeling, not being able to put certain thoughts away, but it goes away, our brains work in funny ways... but anyways nothind lasts forever... is there anything you'd like to talk about?

Depression

I am really feeling low like I don't have any aim like I don't know what have to do know 

3am Thoughts

my throat is closing up bc of anxiety rn and it's making me panic even more. I know I can breathe but feel like I can't. I hate it I really feel like something is squeezing my throat and I'm stressed about tomorrow I have to sleep soon to be rested. breathing exercises didn't help or throat muscle relaxing methods pls what can I do I'm panicking 

Anxiety

Any after movie fans here??

How should I prepare myself for marriage?

Family

Burnt out, tired and exhausted. Na jiya ja raha aur na hi maut dastak derahi 

I stood before the mirror, 11 months ago, and thought to myself- I'd really like my body to reflect how I feel inside. A teenager weighing 108 kgs and that kid who'd always be last in line while running during sports classes- I used to be that kid.

But I decided, I wouldn't be that person any longer - not if I could help it. And let's face it, I definitely could. 

As someone who would often inhale 4-5 ice creams in one sitting, I was oblivious to the scale at which I'd been consuming the white poison that all fitness enthusiasts dread, i.e.-sugar. My first step, after reaching out to a personal trainer and joining a gym, was to quit sugar. I witnessed immediate change. I began reducing weight steadily, going down from 108 kgs, to 104 kgs, to 102 kgs, and so on. 


Simultaneously, I reinforced my efforts by charting out a legitimate diet; I'd begin the day with a generous serving of upma and fruits, following which lunch would comprise a high protein meal. Now, seeing as I'm a vegetarian, I had to resort to cottage cheese to fulfill my need for protein- thus, one meal a day would definitely consist of it in some form or the other. Furthermore, cottage cheese served to compensate and give me energy in exchange for the great muscle break-down and exertion I was undergoing whilst gymming. Apart from this, I'd incorporate curd and milk into my diet, though the latter I now consumed sans the BournVita or sugar of the days of my ignorant past. I'd conclude the day with servings of pulses and cooked vegetables, giving rotis a polite pass.

My routine at the gym would primarily involve weight training, for it facilitates muscle break-down and helps reduce fat. Having said that, I majorly ensured that I was having a good time, because my philosophy, when it comes to fitness, is that it is important to enjoy oneself, regardless of where one’s journey takes them.

Due credit must be given to my trainer here, for he motivated me at every bend in the road; so much, so that, towards the beginning of my journey, after but a few days of working out, he would point out how different I looked and how my efforts were already bearing fruit. I was moved and pleased by his determination and positivity with regard to the goal I'd set for myself.

He made me realize the value of every step taken, no matter how seemingly minute, towards the eventual goal. His optimism and resourcefulness were infectious, to the point where I decided to try my hand at Zumba, after watching it being taught in my vicinity.

Apart from this, I was an enthusiastic subscriber to the YouTube channel, BeerBiceps; many an hour were spent before my computer screen as I absorbed all the information they shared. I wouldn't have been able to come half this way had I not had the correct information and the unending motivation from BeerBiceps and Forever Fit.

Though my weight has definitely gone down considerably, I am still struggling to streamline my effort to specific parts of my body. Something I think most Indians are victim to, is belly fat. Apart from this, we are also victim to a few unfortunate misconceptions; the notion that protein shakes are harmful, needs to be debunked. Personally, I've had a very positive and constructive experience with protein shakes, and they've truly helped a lot. Supplements, on the other hand, must be steered clear of. Neither have I ever used any, nor would I recommend their use to anyone else. 

My story would be incomplete without mentioning the impact Cricket has had on my journey. Playing and watching Cricket, and watching Virat Kohli, is what gave me the motivation to go the extra mile. I've been playing Cricket since 5th grade, and it's been more than just a sport to me.

All I'd like to say is that fitness is a lifestyle; it creates a positive domino effect on all aspects of your life. I've learnt to recognize my horizons and to find it in myself to expand them. 

From a BMI of 35 then, and having come down to 68 kgs, with a reduction of 6.5”, I have come a long way. But I have farther to go still.



Physical Health

You didn't even notice the box you're in until someone lets you out.

-Sissy, The Umbrella Academy (2019) 

Movies

I adopted a child with my gf 5 years back and she broke up with me after 1 month of adoption saying its not gonna work and i don't date now because i cant imagine somebody else in my life except my daughter because i feel like she is my own ,like i gave birth to her and i dont wanna share the happiness when she calls me mumma , but still there's one part which is missing like i went to mental hospital few days ago because i got depression and anxiety and i feel like she is not safe with me like what if i hurt my own daughter's feeling. as i am feeling better now but still there's this fear that what if she grew up hating me and that insecurity is making me give up on her ,trust me it hurts so much when i think about letting her go i mean ,i love her so damn much and even a paper cut on her finger gets me panicking and i dont know what to do i dont know .. please suggest something

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts