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I am anxious because I was just on the phone with my elderly mom, nearing the end of the conversation, and I asked her if it was ok to end calls without referring to the next time we will talk. She always says, β€œtalk to you later” and we already talk everyday, so when I hear that, I sometimes say, β€œwell, it’s already xxx p.m. and I will be relaxing (or working) and then going to bed (much earlier than she does,) so talk to you tomorrow.” Then I feel kind of guilty, because I know she has almost no one else to talk to (including her live-in aides.)

I am constantly dealing with her medical, pharmaceutical, legal, financial, insurance, health care, home care issues, and emotional needs. It’s like a second job. Really, it takes more time and energy than my full time job. It’s worse now during the quarantine, because her senior residence has banned visitors, and residents cannot leave their apartments, unless it’s for medical care. Feel like I am constantly trying to take care of her, but cannot go there, and it is making me stressed and exhausted. I barely have anyone to talk to about this, I don’t like to constantly be burdening my few friends with all the troubles my mother has. I suppose I am as isolated as she is, but I can go for a walk if I want to, or a drive, and I kind of like being alone. (Maybe not quite this much.)

1 reply

hey, I am so sorry that you are going through this and that you have to take these responsibilities up for yourself. Firstly, please don’t feel guilty for keeping the phone down, you are doing enough for her and I know it’ll never feel enough but it is. You giving her time everyday is enough. My grandfather is also alone and I talk to him once a day for 5 minutes and that makes him happy. It makes him content by just listening to my voice.
Secondly, please feel free to talk here about whatever you feel. You and your feelings are not a burden!!


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