Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am afraid . I am afraid that something might go wrong. I am afraid because it’s for the first time when I am doing something without my parent’s approval. I am scared to death. I don’t know . I have never been a rebel . But it feels necessary now . I am risking my skin but what if it turns out to be a great experience? 5 years from now ,I would probably regret , if I don’t attend my parents’ 25th anniversary , but then again I just don’t want to do that . I feel profoundly unhappy here.
Prioritising things isn’t something I excel at . It’s hard for me to “ choose “ something . At times , choice can lead to consequences that are not so healthy. But it is necessary to make a choice and stand by your decision . I want courage and strength to do what I really wish to do . I want love and support . Maybe what I am doing isn’t the right thing to do . Maybe I will hate myself for it . But if I don’t do it now , I would end up hating myself more.