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Domestic AbuseThought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
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Anonymous

I am a 35 years old married working woman. I have a son who is 7 years old and my husband has fallen sick due to severe alcoholism, he is in a high government position. We had a bad marriage for almost 2 years prior to that. And I somehow arranging everything alone with the grace of God and Doctors could save my husband’s life. After that he became really good and loving. I look really young and good and my husband has become sick and quite distant physically from me. It’s been 3 years that almost we had no physical relationship between us. We don’t feel anything for each other. But we take care of each other. Externally we have a happy family. As a woman I need the feel of a man. But I have never been in touch with any other man, even when he would abuse me during his alcoholic days, that was almost till last year. But my vacuum in life is unavoidable.
P.s. don’t post anything like DM me and all. Please give me ur valued suggestion in the group only. 🙏

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhavna_pande
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @thegentleguide
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14 replies
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Anonymous

Why not try talking to him. Communicate whatever you want and see what he says. Do this only if you wanna be with him.
But if you don’t feel valued with him, maybe you can think of doing something, think about the outcomes before taking such steps.

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Anonymous

Do u think I have not talked to him? I have many a times. When he was alcoholic and was abusing me right, left and centre, then also I did. In front of his family, he did hit me, called me a slut. A prostitute. Will terrosrise my son and me. His family will team up. And torture us. Then Karma played strangely. He had a cute liver failure, and he came to me. I got him hospitalized. Bore all the expenses of his treatment. I worked day and night. Washed his potty everyday. He couldn’t even move. He got better over five months. I prayed for his life. All I did was for my son. Who loved his father. And I didn’t want my child to have any childhood trauma. But yes before alcoholism and now, he is good father. Very good father. I have as if left all my desires and my feelings behind. Seeing my son happy and peaceful while sleeping, makes me feel guilty to have any other wish or desire.

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Anonymous

Get seperated coz for the sake of thing you both are there in the marriage so it’s better to seperate and find a partner and live life peacefully as you are only 35 .

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Anonymous

What about our son? I can never be happy by hurting him for life.

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Anonymous

You can take him with you coz you have already hurted yourself silently for many years so now it’s upto you whether you want to get more hurt & stuff or move out of it.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhavna_pande

Bhavna P. @bhavna_pande

Hey there,

I can see that you’ve been through a lot, and your resilience is truly commendable. Such experiences undoubtedly leave lasting marks on our minds. When our thoughts are scattered in different directions, it can be confusing to choose the right path.

It’s essential to acknowledge what your heart and mind truly desire and find a consensus that aligns with your well-being. There’s no clear-cut right or wrong decision, but exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings is crucial before making any choices.

This exploration is vital because you wouldn’t want to carry guilt in the future after making a decision. Coming to terms with your decisions and finding acceptance is key to avoid additional inner turmoil. Regardless of the path you choose, it’s essential for your satisfaction and peace of mind.

Take care,
Psychologist Bhavna Pande

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Anonymous

I am really clueless as to how to go about this. Thank you Bhavna ma’am for your expert advice

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhavna_pande

Bhavna P. @bhavna_pande

Hey,

I’m thrilled my advice hit the mark for you! If you ever want to delve deeper or just have a friendly chat, my counseling services are here. It’s a confidential space where we can navigate through life’s twists and turns. Your privacy is a top priority. So, whenever you’re ready for a virtual coffee session, know it’s a safe and confidential space.

Take care,
Psychologist Bhavna Pande

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Anonymous

I think u should go for expert advice.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @thegentleguide

Raza Khan @thegentleguide

The best way is to seek the solution internally rather than taking external advise. I understand you’re clueless at this point and tried these things thus you’re seeking advise externally.
Firstly, sit and talk to him when he’s in a good mood and let him know that you love him and you guys must make love sometimes or try seducing him if that works. Be unpredictable and a bit bold. Men like that and I’m sure he should too. Take care.

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Anonymous

Yeah but I have become really numb by now. As if I m becoming a responsible machine. Son work and food and housekeeping. Nothing beyond that

Profile picture for Now&Me member @thegentleguide

Raza Khan @thegentleguide

I understand that very very well. Perhaps, sitting down and talking to him when you’re having a day off or on your day off should work. Love is very important.

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